Bad Meets Evil
by sicctransitgloria
Summary: Thought to have landed on the most desolate area on Earth, Cassandra soon finds that gloomy Ipswich, MA is more than she bargained for. Crap summary due to more than one conflict in the fic. ROC w/ possible switched pairings, read at your own discretion.
1. Uprooted

"Cassandra Dean?"

My life was over.

No, is over. Will be over - no, on hiatus - for the next eight months.

I looked up to the front of the classroom. His name was Mr. Garner and he stood at a podium, with a meter stick in hand for a pointer. It looked like a weapon ready to knock naughty children on their asses.

And it looked like he hated me already. I gave him a nod to let him know that yes, the outsider sitting in the back of his classroom was indeed I, Cassandra Dean. As if he didn't know. My classmates had probably all attended boarding school together since the tender age of seven. And Mr. Garner probably knew trash when he saw it.

I don't remember the true moment I became a rich kid, but sitting in a classroom full of blonde heads and expensive tank watches and knowing you've got as much money to throw away as they do - well, it's a rude awakening. My dad died when I was three in an apartment building in flames. He was a fireman; his job wasn't only to save lives, but to risk losing his own life and leaving his family with nothing but compensation because, well - if an explosion happens, it happens. You read the fine print. You know the deal.

I can hardly remember my dad but I know he must have been a good guy, to my mom at least. I can vaguely remember her tears and her pain. I remember the broken sobs from down the hall, a gentle glow from just under her doorway letting me know she hadn't slept at all. I remember her putting his things in boxes in the attic above the stairs and slowly - gradually - replacing pictures of her and him with ones of a different sort. Hank. Her new husband, and my personal demon.

See, I never formally met Hank during their dating period - if there was one - so I can't deny how confused I was when the transition from Mom-and-Dad framed pictures became Mom-and-Hank framed pictures. Suddenly he was there, trying to kiss ass to a rampant, wild seven year old who didn't quite care about where her nose went or how he managed to get that penny from behind her ear.

"Miss Dean just transferred all the way from California, class." Maybe it was just my paranoia but Mr. Garner looked calculating. Heads turned to look at the freakshow from the West Coast - me, of course - and I felt myself retract even further in my seat. It didn't help that I was already two months behind the rest of them.

"What's it like in California, Miss Dean?" Mr. Garner crossed his arms. I looked out the window. It was raining - morose. What a perfect description for a creepy town like Ipswich, Massachusetts. Rain, rain and more rain. With a side order of thick fog, in case it wasn't gloomy enough.

"Dry," I replied, glancing back at Mr. Garner. The tone of my voice was even drier. It fit the girl behind the scowl, behind the Don't-Know-Don't-Care attitude.

Wild Child. Troubled Soul. San Jose's finest runaway - on a first name basis with the law, of course. Rap sheet as long as Mr. Garner's arm. Cliche after cliche after cliche.

My life was a cliche. A Lifetime movie that even I would have scoffed at.

I expected Mr. Garner to challenge me again, but he didn't. His gaze dropped and I felt the corner of my lips tug upward in smugness. Why, Mr. Garner - you should have told me you were going to label me Trouble! I'd be more than happy to play the part.

I heard a snort to the left side of the class and found a blonde boy glancing over his shoulder at me. Blue eyes, blonde hair. Smirking at me, as if I amused him. My eyes tightened involuntarily and I doubt it was a friendly look, but I didn't really care enough to do anything about it. I didn't want friends here. I wasn't going to be around long enough to appreciate it.

The bell rung, joyously obnoxious. Freedom to my ears - the end of a torturous day. I quickly gathered my books and made a beeline for the only room in this God-forsaken building that offered privacy - my own. An antique-ish mess of a dungeon that would have been all the rage a few centuries ago.

It made me miss the little things I'd taken for granted, like my car which was rotting away in our garage in California. Pins & Needles, my tattoo place and second home. Even Chuck, my skilled tattoo artist and best friend.

Ah, tattoos - my downfall. You couldn't tell from first glance, but I have seven of them. Count them - seven.

As I headed for my disgustingly formal suite, my eye caught curly red hair. My roommate Brianna. The girl was obsessed with pink; half the dorm room resembled regurgitated Pepto Bismol. She was sporting - what else - a pink velour jacket over her oxford shirt.

"Cassie!"

She ran over to me, keys in hand. She was cute but slight; short where I was tall. Scrawny where I was athletic. Where her eyes were as blue as the sky, mine were dark brown - almost black. Her cherry colored head could be spotted from a mile away. I was just another dark-auburn in a sea of browns and blondes.

"It's Cassandra," I corrected her, trying to keep my tone from sounding clipped. I bit my lip out of habit.

"Sorry," she looked at me with apologetic eyes. "I was just wondering how your first day went?"

Swell. "It'll be a lot better once I'm out of this horrendous skirt."

We walked back to our dorm in silence, her occasional wave to acquaintances in the hall and my marine-like gaze never wavering from the path in front of me. I refused to meet eyes with the male population of this dreaded boarding school. I knew what boys saw when they looked at me. It made me want to shave my head and sport clown makeup. It made me want to give them each a swift kick to the shin.

We headed inside our room - my side almost barren of any personality, her side with more than enough to spare - and I instantly shed my skirt and button-down, leaving me in my undergarments. I wasn't shy in the least but Brianna stepped behind her drawn curtain to change. I glanced at myself in the full-form mirror. My legs were long and lean from running - what a metaphor. They weren't stick thin like Brianna's and they definitely weren't dainty. They were strong. Able to withstand anything. Able to outrun anything except the memories. My torso and arms weren't any different. Everything was lean. Everything was toned. And to think my natural physique was more like Brianna's - waifish. I'd worked hard to get this body. I didn't want to be small anymore. I wanted to be able to put up a good fight.

Some people preferred their targets soft and dainty and lithe. It was easier to violate them; I should know.

"Do you play sports? Swim team or something?" I heard Brianna ask as she stepped from behind her curtain, in pink drawstring pants and a matching tank. Suddenly feeling a little too exposed I reached for something to throw on. Ah, my trusty jersey shorts and holey, seen-better-days white tee.

"Nope," I replied as I threw myself on my bed. "I ran a bit back home, but not for teams or anything. Just for fun."

"I sincerely hope that's not your true idea of fun," Brianna laughed. "But you look good, anyways."

I let my tense body relax. Brianna wasn't so bad. She was even likeable. Innocent, genuine - a rarity among high school girls. And she was willing to put up with a Debbie Downer like me. Most girls amped their attitude in my presence, instead.

"They'll calm down after a while, you know," Brianna started and I looked at her. My face must have shown my confusion. "The girls, I mean. They're all kind of catty around here on a good day, but they only look at you like that because you're new. And you're pretty."

"Ah," I said. "I see. They have a thing for fresh meat. I don't care anyway, but thanks."

She blushed lightly and looked down at her calculus textbook. I wonder if she thought I was a bitch. Oddly enough, I hoped she didn't.

"You're cool, though," I added quickly, seeing her head pick up and the beginning of a smile light her face. "For showing me the ropes around here." She nodded. I wasn't going to try hard to maintain friendships at this damnable school but I already decided I'd keep a friendship with Brianna. She was decent.

I spent the rest of the day napping. I woke up a couple of hours later grumpily to the sound of my cellphone squealing. The ID let me know who it was.

"Hi mom," my voice sounded chalky.

"Cassandra?" she sounded concerned. "Are you alright, hunny? How was school? And your roommate?"

"Slow down," I wiped at my eyes. "I'm fine. School was fine."

"And your roommate? What's she like? Do you get along?" Her questions shot out faster than bullets.

"We get along just fine." I added.

"Good, honey. I'm proud of you for doing this. I miss you, everyone misses you-"

"Mom," I cut her off sharply, involuntarily. "I'm sorry but there's homework I have to do. I really can't talk..."

"Oh," her voice wavered. I felt the guilt eating away at my heart. "Then I'll let you go, sweetie."

"I'll call you the next chance I get," I piped, hating myself for hurting her as usual. "Love you mom."

"I love you too. Be good and I'll see you soon." It sounded more like logic; If you be good, then I'll see you soon. Which wasn't all that untrue.

"Bye," I sighed and closed the phone, and all the demons that threatened to end my existence wilted.

I jumped off my bed and headed out into the hall for the bathroom, barefoot. The entire building seemed abandoned. It was creepy; what time was it anyway? Why was it so dark? I let the dimness of the hall guide me to the heavy door and was temporarily blinded by the fluorescent lighting of the stalls. I walked over to the sink and peered at the sleepy-eyed girl in the mirror.

I gave myself the stink-eye; it was the face I couldn't change. I'd started working out hard the year I threatened Hank to never lay his disgusting hands on me again, if he treasured having all his body parts. I'd hoped my boxing lessons would instill a little fear, a little weariness - and it did, surprisingly. He stopped. And even though I couldn't take back all the years of sexual abuse, in my head I was happy just knowing that the tables turned a little - fear was instilled in him.

But in truth, it was the face that got me in trouble. A strong body - 5'7" and 130 lbs, thank you very much - should not have a face this innocent. This pretty. It isn't hard, but soft. It isn't severe, but inviting. Innocent, even. The dimples I've had since birth refuse to go away, and if I show the littlest bit of smile, they're all yours to enjoy. My eyes are too big, my cheeks round out when I smirk and these lips - these damn lips - pink and puffy, are fit for a princess. Only I'm not a princess. I'm not worthy of this little cupid's bow and pouty bottom lip.

But more than that, I never wanted it. I'd rather look like an ordinary girl with ordinary features than ever have to re-live Hank coming to my bedroom and raping me at the tender age of nine. Nothing is free after all. Everything comes with a price.

I quickly shook the memories from playing out in my head with a splash of cold water. I used some paper towel to dry myself off and stepped back out to the dark hallway. Something sharp was on the floor, but it was too late to get myself out of its way. It was already in my foot. I yelped loudly, a very unlikely thing for me to do.

"Fucking shit!" I wailed. "Fuck!" Lip-biting be damned, I reached for whatever was still piercing my heel and saw the culprit - a nail. Great, tetanus. Incase my life didn't suck enough. I pulled it out and whimpered a bit before realizing I was going to lose my balance at the sight of blood - my blood. It was horrifying.

Only I didn't make it all the way down; my body hit another body - a male body - sturdy, still standing. Yes, that felt like denim. And hands. His hands grabbed me, which lightened the impact of my head crashing down on his crotch, mortifyingly enough. I caught a distinct cologne smell.

"Oof," I muffled through the cotton of his sweater. He pulled me off him as I tried to regain my balance. My eyes met with blue ones, and blonde hair. I'd seen him before, but not really. I hadn't seen him - not this close up. And I was sort of rendered speechless, if that were possible for a girl like me. Which it wasn't. I don't lose it over a guy, despite the pretty-ness of this guy's cornflower hair and ocean-blue eyes.

Cornflower hair? Am I a poet now?

I shook the feeling off and hoped this guy's gaze would let down but he just smirked in a cocky kind of way, which struck me as both odd and annoying. I looked down at his hands - in fingerless gloves - still handling my forearms. I regained enough composure to pull away from his grasp - with moderate force.

"Quite a mouth you have on you." He was actually gazing at my mouth, as if it were something to eat.

I glared at him the best I could and felt the anger waiver with a quick wash of pain. Ow. I limped over to the side of the wall and slid down to examine the wound. It wasn't an attractive position to be in and I couldn't have cared less.

"You're bleeding," he observed, sounding nonchalant. Much like stating the time, I thought.

"I'm aware of that," I clipped. "Go away." He looked mildly surprised, with the possibility of a smirk playing at his lips. He might have contemplated for two seconds while I silently grieved in pain, biting my lower lip to keep the low moan from escaping. Decidedly, he shrugged his shoulders.

"You're lucky I'm not a nice guy," he reasoned. I rested the back of my head against the wall and looked up at him through narrow eyes. He smirked at me before stalking off to whichever girl's room he was going to ravage.

Well that's obvious, I thought. I went to stand up and felt instantly dizzy.

"Cassandra?" It was Brianna. Oh heavenly angels, I thank thee.

"I'm over here," I waved with a bit of resignation and embarrassment. She wasn't alone. I could make out the outlines of three other people with her.

"You're bleeding!" She looked at my foot with anguish and what I thought was disgust. "What the hell did you do to yourself?"

I held up the culprit which was still in my hands - the dreaded nail. I sighed and tried not to look at her snickering friends; only, when I did - they weren't snickering, as I'd imagine anyone would be, and one of the boys looked on with pity.

"Help her, Ry," Brianna's friend urged, and I saw that Ry was the tall one with messy brown hair that stuck up in some places. And - like anyone at Spenser Academy - he was attractive. Unconventionally so.

"I'll help you back," he said, only it sounded like a question and he didn't grab me like the blonde - he offered. And since they were heading back to the room anyway, I accepted.

"Thanks," I told him. I peeked over at Brianna and saw that she was gazing up at Ry with something like longing.

When we got back to the room, Ry lead me to my bed and I plopped down with a sigh. The damned heel still hurt but it stopped bleeding all over the place. Brianna fished for peroxide, some gauze and a big band-aid from her first-aid kit. I eyed the peroxide warily but succumbed to her threats ("do you want your foot to fall off?!"). She introduced me to her friends, Lily and Cole - who appeared to be very much the happy couple. Ry, I learned, was actually short for Ryan. He was Cole's best friend and apparent escort for Brianna, who was friends with Lily. They were all so... close. Wholesome. Sincere, like Brianna.

And sitting there with my bandaged heel only me made me feel like the awkward fifth wheel. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 9:45, late for a hang-out by boarding school standards.

"Do they care if we come and go?" I asked Brianna. "I mean, if I wanted to go somewhere right now - could I just get up and go?" Lily eyed my foot warily and raised her brow at me. I laughed at her implication.

"Yes and no," Ry answered, after Brianna looked at him for help. "Technically, no. But if you're smart about it - then yes." My brows flew up in surprise and nodded encouragingly. He looked at me with pensive eyes.

"It's tricky, that's all," he finished. I crossed my arms, seeing that he wasn't going to explain much more than that. Neither Brianna nor Lily and Cole were going to tell me how I could possibly escape this cultish hellhole.

"That's all?" I huffed. "Aren't you going to tell me how?"

"I just don't want to get you in any trouble," Ry looked at me strangely. Did he suspect that I was going to bail?

"I wouldn't bring you guys down with me, if that were the case," I let him know, thinking that maybe he was covering his own ass. Then I froze. They came from outside. It couldn't have been that hard for the four of them to get by without being noticed. Was it me? Did they know about my record? My past? And how much of it did they know? Brianna must have seen the frantic look in my eyes, because her gaze did not waver.

"One of the computer geeks pulled up a record," her voice wavered. "Your record."

I was suddenly aware of a sickness rising to my throat.

"Who." Funny how I hadn't realized I stood up until I felt Ry's restraining hand on my shoulder. I gave him a look with a mental message attached - back off. He didn't.

"We're not even sure," Lily looked at me with some weird emotion. Was it pity? "They do it to everyone. They probably weren't expecting to find what they found."

"And that gave them the right to intrude," I finished for her, feeling my voice tremble with resentment. My face felt like a ball of flames. Of all things I felt, embarrassment was the most shocking. I looked at the ground and shook Ry's hand off my shoulder. Now wasn't the time to play nice.

I was only halfway down the hall when I heard unwelome footsteps. Running didn't sound like a bad idea just then. And they'd never catch up...

"Cassandra," Ry called out cautiously. "Wait up." I rubbed my temples as I walked faster and then crossed my arms with an angry exhale. I was biting my lip so hard I was sure it would bleed. Anything to keep my mind off the embarrassment. Anything to keep me from crying.

"Are you going to tell me how to get the hell out of here?" I spoke without turning to face him.

"No."

"Then leave me alone." Please.

"I won't tell you," he spoke calmly. "I'll show you."

I stopped walking and turned to meet his eyes. They were dark - if not darker - than mine.

"Under one condition," his eyebrow quirked upward. "I'm coming with you."

"You don't even know where I'm going." I don't even know where I'm going, I felt like telling him.

"I know you're not running away," he reasoned. "As long as I'm there, you won't."

"I could incapacitate you, you know. I know how." He looked at me then, trying to read thoughts.

"Would you?" It was a simple question and yet very effective. Would I hurt Ry, a boy I'd just met? Someone who seemed sincere enough to help a bitchy stranger? My tough act wavered and I rolled my eyes. I wouldn't. And to be frank, I wasn't sure I could. He was so tall - probably around 6'4".

"You show me the way and we'll go together," my voice lowered then. "But what about the others?"

"They told me to follow you, so I guess they're not coming. Unless you want them to." I thought about all of us leaving together - thoughts of a fifth wheel coming to mind. I wasn't exactly up for that. Brianna would have to understand.

"I'd rather be alone, but I'll settle for just you," I said with resignation. "As long as you get me out of here."

He nodded and I followed him, all the way to the auditorium. The auditorium? Strange.

"It's the only exit that doesn't buzz," he whispered, leaning in. I nodded, though he couldn't see it. Darkness was obviously the norm here at Spenser, I realized. I'd seen bat caves with better lighting.

I followed him all the way to the bottom of the large room, casually leaning against his shoulder for stability lest I trip and fall on my face. And then felt him stiffen. He stopped walking and put his arm out to stop me.

"What?" I whispered anxiously, but then I felt his hand over my mouth - to hush me.

The auditorium exit opened then, from the inside, and moonlight spilled over us. I could see then that it wasn't authority - just kids, like us. Two boys. One of them with hair shining like an angel. Like cornflower.

"Ugh," I couldn't hold back my disgust when Ry's hand left my mouth. My body relaxed and I felt my face blanche instead. Blondie again. And a side kick this time, too. Pretty little brown-haired boy.

"Following me?" Blondie's brows went up humorously. I felt my hands clench.

"Hardly," I let out as I pulled Ry to the exit by his forearm. "Step aside, please." Before I hurt you in what I'll later call a 'fit of rage'.

His arm blocked my passage and I felt Ry tense yet again. My eyes shifted upward and I saw just how tense Ry and Blondie both were. Lots of eye-daggers and 'I hate you' looks. Blondie's face left nothing to the imagination - it was excitement. As if he were looking for trouble all night and finally found it.

"Reid." The voice came from outside and I noticed two other boys standing off at the side. Both disgustingly pretty, one commanding more authority than any of them. The voice belonged to him.

"Get off it, Caleb," Blondie - or Reid, rather - looked at his friend with challenging eyes. "I'm just amusing myself here."

"You're Using."

I threw a suspicious glance at his friend outside. This boy - Reid - was using? Using what? Drugs? My face twisted into something of a grimace and I went to meet eyes with Ry at the awkwardness of it all. But he wasn't by my side.

In fact, he wasn't in the auditorium at all.

He was gone. He left me. With these donkeys - who were clearly bored and looking for fun in the form of elementary school behavior.

"Ry!" I called in a hoarse whisper, hoping this was all just a bad joke. And that is just wishful thinking, I thought to myself bitterly. Reid laughed obnoxiously and his friend next to him rolled his eyes. Caleb - the handsome one outside - stepped towards us in annoyance. He was hesitant though, and I realized I'd need to step in if I ever planned on hitting the dusty trail.

And here I am, thinking my new lifestyle would pale in comparison to the old. It was only my first day of classes and I was going to send my fist through someone's eye socket.

"Move." My anger wasn't forced. The corner of his mouth quirked up for just a second.

"Reid," Caleb's voice picked up from the doorway. I shot him a nasty look - did the puss want to help me now? I was fuming. Reid turned his head toward Caleb, though not to directly look at him.

"She can handle herself. She loves a fight as much as I do," he mused as he turned back to face me. Still blocking the exit. Only this time, his glance wavered from my eyes to my lips - just like the last time - only this time, he licked his own. "Or is that just the rumor?"

I felt my face flush red as his laughter picked up a little and I wondered what his personal vendetta against me was. I might have been rude to him earlier, but I'd hardly call that a reason to act on. It was just odd.

"The rumors," I spoke slowly, letting a calculated smile slowly form on my face, "are true." I got inches away from him as I said it, so close that I could feel his body heat as I'm sure he could feel my own. It was then that I realized I wouldn't mind peering into those blue eyes any more than I would mind sending my fist through one.

His face suddenly hardened - I couldn't read through his expression, oddly enough. Bewildered? Caught off guard? I heard his friend laughing next to him. The pretty one whose name I never caught. I was surprised to find him smiling at me.

"I don't know who you are, but I'm Tyler," he said, still smiling. "And any girl who gets in Reid's face is OK with me."

"Who's in my face, Baby Boy?" Reid's eyes zoned in on Tyler. "I was just about to let the lady pass." Lady. I wanted to backhand that saccharine smile right off his face.

With a dramatic bow of servitude, he waved me forward.

His eyes never left mine, I noticed. And I only noticed this because I kept his gaze until I passed him. Call it instinctual but I certainly didn't feel safe just then with my back facing him. He chuckled behind me.

"You can run but you can't hide," he said sing-songly. I looked at Caleb's apologetic eyes before throwing Reid a glance from over my shoulder.

"I'm not running anywhere," I spoke throatily, to my surprise, and continued to walk. I had no clue where I was going - that was obvious - but I also didn't care.

I walked quickly and efficiently, covering ground while Caleb got in Reid's face. Their arrangement seemed off - even to me, the most 'off' girl in the world. I couldn't pinpoint where the oddness originated from, though. Perhaps it was the way Caleb appeared more as Reid's guardian than fellow classmate and friend. Or maybe it was Reid's rogue behavior, set off in a way that made me think it was a cry for attention. The intensity of his eyes frightened me, no doubt - but Caleb's authoritative tone made me believe that Reid was more than likely rebuffing that.

Or maybe they're all gay. I smirked at the thought.

Somewhere to hide, somewhere to hide - I chanted this in my head as I searched the grounds. Somewhere I could put my head between my knees and breathe away the threat of tears.

I found a spot that looked particularly deserted. It was in between the school grounds and what looked like a huge shed. There was a fence to lean against, which was nice. I plopped down and brought my knees to my chest - the air was cold and bitter tonight. I rested the back of my head against the fence and brought my hands together by my face, breathing into them to keep warm.

Think, girl. What the hell are you going to do now?

It's either sink or swim, I realized. You can run away and sink. Or you can deal for a year and stay afloat. There is no in-between. There is nothing else that matters. Let them gossip. Let them pass their monotonous, dull lives here at Spenser mocking you for lack of anything better to do. It will not matter in the end.

You are not the kind of girl that hides, Cassandra. That's for damn sure.

I stood up and took a deep breath. If ever the eye of the storm threatened my existence, it was now. But I wouldn't go down crying, and I would not go down without a fight.

I might have sat for fifteen minutes before I realized my ass was frozen to the ground. Wouldn't do me good to get frost-bite there, I mused. The air was colder now as I made my way back and the wind whipped my hair into my eyes. For a minute, I was temporarily blinded. I moved the strands from my face with numb fingers. It was then that I'd heard it - a snap. The snap of a twig. I turned around cautiously, eyeing the area.

"Hello?" I yelled out in a cracked voice. The origin of the sound came from the lining of the trees. Too much forest here, I realized. And then I advanced on it without even thinking.

It almost felt static, the energy. Like moving toward the forest was the last thing I should ever do. Like I should turn around and run. I peered once more through narrow eyes - was that a shadow I just saw?

Turn around, girl. Run back. Something isn't right.

I felt a chill down my spine and shivered. Keeping my eye on the forest, I swiveled around and almost ran into a large black figure. I screamed and made ready to bolt before recognizing that the large black figure was Caleb in a long peacoat. I clutched at my heart and heaved in relief.

"You scared the hell out of me!" I looked at him with disdain. His hands were out to slow me, and he looked tired - resigned.

"Sorry," he shrugged and I saw something like amusement glimmer in his big brown eyes. "You shouldn't be out here. It's not safe." I watched him as he watched the forest behind me with stress and worry lining his face. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. I nodded.

"Goodnight, then," my voice cracked once more and I looked down as I gave him a quick wave. I started walking back toward the school when I heard his footsteps behind me.

"I should probably walk you back," he said more to himself than me. I looked over my shoulder and snorted.

"You definitely don't have to do that."

I watched as he looked back at the woods and then at me.

"I definitely do," he muttered. I eyed him suspiciously as we walked.

"Was there someone out there? In the woods, I mean? I definitely heard something-"

"Whatever you heard," he began. "You had every reason to be scared. A kid was murdered out there in the woods two months ago." He gave me a look of warning, and I realized that he was trying to scare me. For my own good, it seemed. Caleb wasn't much like his friends, from my observation.

We reached the door to the auditorium and I was relieved to find no one else around. I turned to look up at Caleb and found him gazing into the pitch-blackness of the room. As if he were watching someone. Ipswich isn't just creepy, I thought. It breeds creepy.

And handsome, I chuckled internally.

I gave him a nod as he looked down at me and turned to go.

"Cassandra, is it?" I heard him inquire as I went through the doorway.

"Yeah," I turned my head back in reply.

"Be safe," he spoke quietly. "And pay Reid no mind. He's not thinking clearly these days."

Funny, I thought to myself. No one ever is.

"I'll keep that in mind," was what I said before I turned to leave. I didn't bother to look back.

When I got back to the room, it was empty. I closed the door firmly and locked it, reveling in the security it promised. I slid down to sit and shake away the shock of the moments that just passed. I could have locked myself in this room forever if it meant anything at all. But hiding is a distant cousin of running away, and I was not the type to do something halfway. Why bother at all?

I stood up - gallantly, I liked to think - and unbolted the door for Brianna before getting myself ready for bed. 


	2. Harrassed

The next day was only a little bit worse than the previous.

It was worse because, well - everyone was staring at me.

"Nobody's staring at you," Brianna whispered to me in English Lit. I gave her a solemn look.

"They are," I said, mostly to myself. To make things worse, I couldn't find Ry anywhere in the building. It wasn't until my second to last class that I ran into him on the way to my room. I'd forgotten my World History textbook.

"Ry?" My eyes followed messy brown hair. He turned to look at me and smiled politely.

"What's up, Cassandra Dean?" He sounded so normal, so nonchalant. I almost questioned whether last night actually happened.

Almost.

"What happened to you last night?" I eyed him warily. "You left me to deal with Reid and company. Alone." I tried not to sound as angry as I felt. Be calm, I told myself. Torture later.

"Huh?" The look on his face was one of pure confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," I sounded clipped as I leaned in closer to him, lowering my voice. "The auditorium-"

"Mister Winstead!" An authoritative voice boomed from our right and we separated instantly. It was Provost Higgins. "Could we keep it moving, please? No drifting in the hallway and no boys allowed in girls' rooms!"

Ry gave me that 'we'll talk about it later' look. I nodded him a mental message - you bet your ass we are! - and left for World History. I saw a certain glint of gold to my right across the hallway and -surprise, surprise- found Reid, a girl under each arm, looking smug. Almost calculated. And he shook his head at me, as if witnessing Provost Higgins' outburst. I pursed my lips and walked on, refusing to feed into his amusement.

My last class was with Mr. Garner - and Reid, of course - in what was the hardest to bear now that everyone knew my deep, dark √oh, so forbidden secret.

Criminal Law. Ah, the irony. Why I was even put in such an advanced class was beyond me.

I had no interest in law, despite the interest it had in me.

And I really, really had no interest in anyone's questioning gazes. It was only now that I realized Lily was in this class, as was Tyler and another of Reid's - or Caleb's, rather? - minions. He had slightly longer hair and a very lean build, but I never caught his name the night before.

And like the day before, I sat in the back.

"Yes, Mister Garwin?" I heard Mr. Garner's voice echo toward my section of the lecture hall and I instantly looked over at Reid. It was just as I'd suspected. Reid was Mister Garwin.

"Out of curiosity," Reid's voice sounded very nonchalant. "Under what circumstances would the law arrest an underage runaway?"

"Hm," Mr. Garner's look was deep in thought and I felt eyes turn on me, but I was staring at Reid with hatred. "Well I suppose there are lots of reasons, although under normal circumstances they'd be returned to their parent or guardian-"

"Warrant," I spoke loudly, my eyes never leaving Reid's form. His head turned up to me and I saw something in his eyes that I'd seen last night. Mischief. "If there's already a juvenile warrant out for an underage runaway's breach of probation-"

"Good point, Miss Dean," Mr. Garner replied, not even noticing the grit of my teeth or the daggers I was shooting at Reid. Or the way Reid's eyes danced with delight.

"Warrant for what, exactly?" Reid's voice was so nonchalant that it made me want to wring his pretty neck.

"None of your damned business!"

I wasn't the only one shocked at the tone of my voice. The whole class was staring now, giggling at the odd exchange between Reid and I.

"Settle down, you two," Mr. Garner's voice commanded. The class was still snickering. Reid wasn't paying Mr. Garner any mind, and I wasn't either. His lips turned upward deviously and I felt my sweaty palms tighten. He was trying to prove his place in the school. The Bad Boy. The Troubled Soul. And perhaps he found me somewhat threatening to that banal existence of his.

"Sorry, Mr. Garner," I perked up. I hardly recognized the saccharine sweetness of my voice. "I'd be happy to give Mister Garwin■ - I emphasized his name with something like forced amicability- ⌠examples." My eyes found Reid's - and then Tyler's. Reid crossed his arms and looked smug. Tyler was smiling into his fist.

I was gripping the underside of my desk, indulging in a little fantasy of backhanding Reid into a wall.

"Please do," Mr. Garner encouraged. "Interact."

"Well," I dragged on before slowly, lazily meeting Reid's gaze. He licked his lips and feigned seriousness. "There's battery, of course. And if substance is involved - well, it changes everything. That's breach of probation, and repeat offenders rarely ever get off with a warning." Consider this yours, asshole.

"Kids these days should know better," Reid said with an air of mockery and false concern.

"Yeah, never get caught!" Someone shouted, and the class broke into low giggles.

"Maybe some criminals can't change," I turned my body toward Reid, who was eyeing me with interest. "Maybe they're just too bad." I couldn't help the hint of sarcasm in my tone. I was never truly bad - I was just always running from bad people.

The bell rang and I snapped out of my trance. Had I really just called Reid out in the middle of a lecture?

Hell yes, I did.

I stepped out into the hallway to find Tyler standing next to the handsome boy whose name I never got. Tyler winked at me this time and smiled.

"I told you she'd call Reid out in class," Tyler spoke to the boy next to him - but he was looking at me with amusement. "Pay up, Pogue."

"That, she did." Pogue gave me a wavering glance and slammed a few twenties into Tyler's fist.

"Sorry," I shrugged, sensing Pogue's resentment. Tyler chuckled.

"I suppose that for a jailbird, it was an admirable thing to do," a voice behind me spoke in my ear - Reid. "Defending your honor and all that."

"I suppose that you wouldn't know about anything admirable," I bit back scathingly. "Being a trust-fund baby and all that."

I felt his hand mold itself to the small of my back and I instantly moved away from it. I turned to face him.

"Come, take a walk with me," I held out my hand and forced a smiled - showing him innocent dimples and a hopefully innocent exterior. "Let's play."

His eyes feigned - always feigning, always false - acquiescence and his hand reached for mine. I wasn't expecting it to be warm or even nice - but it was. It felt strange, almost conflicting. A kind, protective hand where he was rude and malicious for his own intents and purposes. Nonetheless, I smiled and pulled him - wanting so badly to drag him with agitated force - to a quiet spot in the hallway by the stairs.

When I saw that no one was around us I grabbed his arm with both my hands and pushed him hard against the wall. I didn't linger in front of him but then I did, pushing him hard again in frustration. It had been so long since I put my hands on anyone in this manner and it felt so good. I gritted my teeth in anger while his eyes laughed at me. He looked more focused on my features - gazing down at my form against his, my face only inches from his own. Stupid, typical boy.

"You better explain what the hell that was all about," I managed to breathe out hoarsely as adrenaline pumped through my veins. My body trembled from the excess of it.

"It's a little hard to concentrate on what you're saying," his voice was amused, and he looked down at my pressing against his surprisingly hard body. I drew away from our contact. "I wasn't complaining, Miss Dean."

"Shut up," I threw at him. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, Reid. I never did anything to you."

And you're crazy if you think I won't put a stop to your bullying before it starts, dickhead.

"Your point being?" He looked at me with bored eyes.

"Just morbidly curious to your motives," I bit back sarcastically. His eyes were so intense I could hardly stand it. "Humor me."

"I'm not trying to piss you off," he spoke convincingly and I looked on disbelievingly. "It's one thing to sport, and another thing to spot the jailbird with the class president" - Ry, I realized - "trying to sneak off together. It was just too good to pass up. Sorry, Dean, but you were a victim of your own doing. And it was fun while it lasted." I saw the hint of male smugness play across his face. So this was about Ry. He had a personal vendetta against Ry and I got caught in the middle.

"Whatever," I brushed him off as I turned to leave. "Cut the shit now, before someone gets hurt. And by someone, I mean you."

I walked away knowing he'd have the last word.

"Are all juvenile delinquents as pretty as you, Dean?" His voice was teasing but hid its intensity. He had a way of making me feel victimized, even though I vowed to never be a victim again. I would have preferred death.

But still.

Reid was the cat, and I was the mouse under his paw. And I couldn't shake him off.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer." Lame, but I wasn't thinking of witty responses just then. He didn't put his hands on me again but then again, he didn't need to. The proximity of having him so close was torturous. 'Fight or flight' was screaming at me to do something, anything - hit or run. Hit or run.

Run? I scoffed. As if.

Just when I thought I was moving fast enough to leave him behind, I felt him whip around me and face me with hands up in resignation. His eyes were still the same old eyes - false, feigning - but his smirk was faltering.

"A thousand apologies, Dean," he spoke. "For being..."

"A prick."

"Right." I eyed him warily and then nodded once. His head tilted to one side, studying my next move like it was a chess game. I showed him nothing.

"So," I dragged. "What do you want?"

"A truce," he shrugged. "Nothing more, nothing less. Start over."

"Fine, whatever," I sighed. "May I pass, now?"

"Absolutely," he replied with a dramatic gesture - a bow and wave forward. "After you."

I looked behind me to find him standing there with his hands halfway in his pockets and a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Watching me leave. Enjoying the view, asshole?

"This isn't over, Dean," I heard him mutter behind me, in a muted voice.

I didn't both turning around again. 


	3. Warned

I had meant to see Ry that night, but then night turned to week - and I was pushing two weeks since our last run-in. The kid was never around and almost always busy (Brianna would fill me in on his impossible schedule, of course). I probably would have been too if I'd spent as much time doing homework as the other Spenser kids did.

The good part about it was that Reid had decided to leave me alone - hadn't even looked my way since the 'truce'. And I'd had a feeling that laying low on the radar was best at keeping it that way, even if it meant sneaking around to see Ry.

Something was definitely up, and the monotony of my life was dying to figure out what it was. The boredom that stretched throughout the days literally depended on it.

It wasn't until I showered and dressed myself in something appropriate that I decided I'd move in on Ry. Tonight. I'd have my work cut out for me - avoid Brianna's gaze, find someone who could direct me to Ry's room - and in honor of keeping that humorous bad-girl image I'd decked myself out in all black: black tee and my tightest black jeans with wallet chain hanging from my ass pocket to boot.

OK, so the spy getup wasn't really necessary. It only added some excitement to an otherwise very dull existence here at Spenser.

And not many people realized that tight clothes are easy to run in, if need be.

"Hey," Brianna walked back in the room, hair wrapped up in a towel from her shower. She looked me over with appreciative eyes. "Going out?"

"Mmphm?" I mumbled and shrugged, throwing myself on my bed. "Maybe. Not sure yet."

"C'mon," she gave me a look that told me she wasn't stupid. "You look festive. Meeting up with someone? Tell me who. Is it Ry?"

"No," I bit my lip and felt my gaze falter. She smirked.

"I don't care, Cassandra," she huffed. "I only hope you'll stay away from Reid Garwin. Lily told me about what happened in Criminal Law."

"He's a jackass," I scowled. "And I've avoided him since." Or he's avoided me, rather.

"Well, I hope it stays that way. He enjoys his popularity here a little too much and I don't want to see him play his stupid little mind-games with you."

"Oh come on," I eyed her warily. "I've dealt with worse than the Blonde Wonder."

"He's not just an asshole," she spoke with disgust. "He's a manipulator and a charmer. I've seen decent girls turn into nightly rounds because of him."

"That would never happen," I spoke louder than I meant to. "I have someone back home." I bit my lip again. Did I have someone back home? I mean, there was Chuck... but we had sort of a special arrangement, and he was more like a best friend than anything.

"Really?" Brianna's eyes lit up. "So you're not-" She hesitated.

"Not what?"

"Not into, like-" she hesitated again, "Ry or anything?"

"No," I laughed. "I just needed to ask him about something that happened two weeks ago when we ran into Reid-"

"Oh no," Brianna moaned. "Reid and Ry hate each other. Ry hates the Sons of Ipswich more than anyone, and Reid can sense it."

"Wait," I stopped her. "The Sons of Ipswich?" I gave her the hairy eyeball.

"The only sons of the descendents of the oldest families in Ipswich," Brianna muttered robotically and rolled her eyes. "Which basically means they're loaded. And completely arrogant."

"Hmph," I huffed. "Well they seem it. Except for one of them - Caleb. He's not as bad as the others."

"No, Caleb isn't as bad," Brianna nodded in agreement. "But you just can't trust them. And Reid is the most volatile of them all."

"That explains a lot," I huffed. "I think he enjoys conflict."

"It's not the only thing he enjoys," Brianna made a disgusted face. "I just don't see what girls like about him. He's a total bad boy."

"He just thinks he is," I waved her off. "He wouldn't last a second in a cell." I muttered that last bit, and Brianna didn't reply. Mentioning my incarceration probably makes her uncomfortable. I felt like hitting my head (d'oh!) for a true Homer-Simpson moment.

"Why are you here?" Brianna muttered. I looked up at her with dead-pan eyes.

"What do you mean?" My voice cracked and I swallowed hard.

"I mean," she shook her head. "You're from the other side of the country. And you've got a record - I'm not trying to say that's a deal breaker, but for Spenser - it sort of is." I had to give it to her, she was right. Dead on. It was impossible for someone with a record to get into Spenser. Except, of course, for me.

"My mom's an alumni," I managed to find my voice again. "Spenser was the only boarding school to let me in. And I really needed to get away from home."

"Oh," Brianna breathed. "Wow. That's pretty cool."

I shrugged. I wasn't going to explain to her how I needed to get away from someone in particular - Hank. I wasn't going to tell her that my mom had no idea that her second husband gave me hell for years. I wasn't going to mention the look on my mom's face when I told her I'd be better off starting somewhere fresh, far away from home - to ease the demons.

"A fresh start, you know?" That was all I said. Then I jumped off the bed and threw on my trusty Converse sneakers. "I have to find Ry. But I'll be back soon."

"Be careful," Brianna looked at me sternly. "Boys' dorms are on the second floor, and his room is 303."

"Thanks," I looked at her appreciatively before stealthily closing the door behind me. Now, to actually see anything in this gloomy hallway...

I traveled lightly and quietly, keeping an ear out for anyone who might be checking the halls. When I got to the stairs, I took them two at a time. I found the boys' floor even darker than the girls'. From some corner, I heard whispering. It got more and more audible as I walked.

"We never found the body..."

I froze. It was Caleb's voice, I was sure of it. And the distressed gasp belonged to a girl.

"With Reid's Ascension, it makes sense that all this is happening," Caleb whispered.

"But you said he was dead," the girl's voice shook.

"We assumed, Sarah," Caleb sounded distressed. I was trying not to breathe. "When Putnam barn burned down-"

Caleb stopped whispering and I froze. Footsteps were coming from down the hall. This would be my only chance to book it, and I moved in the opposite direction of both Caleb and the footsteps. I could hardly see where I was going, when I noticed an open door ahead. The light, I realized. The light would help me see numbers on the doors.

I stopped at the crack in the door and saw the glint of metal numbers - 287. The numbers on the door diagonally from this room was 290. I was going in the right direction. But how the hell was I going to know the right door when I found it? It was so damn dark and I felt like dropping the whole idea...

"Dean," I heard a voice whisper in my ear and I yelped in fear. I heard him shush me and grab my shoulder. It was Reid, of course. I could see the outline of his golden hair and his scent was recognizable. He was leading me somewhere, and I tried to brush him off.

"Not now, Reid," I whispered harshly. "I'm looking for someone."

"You won't make it very far without me," he snorted. "Just trust me."

I didn't have the patience to tell him exactly how much I didn't trust him, but I followed him regardless. He was leading me to a room...

"My room," he muttered.

"Not the room I'm looking for," I spoke boredly. "But thanks anyway." I went to turn away but his hand caught my wrist and pulled me in.

"Will you just get in here?" He sounded annoyed. "You're gonna get us all pinched."

I meant to throw some scathing remark at him, but I'd seen someone walking the halls with a glow around them. It was a lamp, and it was the Provost who held it. I would have been seen for sure, had not Reid pulled me in from my frozen stupor. He shut the door as quietly and briskly as a criminal. I looked around his room - trust-fund baby all the way, with a huge plasma flat-screen TV mounted on the wall and a sound system that probably wasn't even allowed on campus. His roommate wasn't there, but his side looked just as...expensive.

I folded my arms and looked at Reid. He was dialing a number on his cellphone and spoke quietly to whoever was on the other line. He wasn't facing me, and I took a second to look at him. He dressed as darkly as I did, with a black zippered hoodie and those same fingerless gloves. I had to admit, he looked good. I looked down at myself and realized that together, we could have been mistaken for burglars.

I heard him snap the phone shut and turn to face me. He leaned against the desk chair and folded his arms. I almost smirked when I realized that our stances were identical - predatory.

"Did you need my assistance?" Reid's mouth wasn't grim, but it wasn't smiling either. In fact, I didn't know what to make of it. Was he serious about trucing it earlier? Would he help me?

No, he hates Ry - remember?

"If you think it's safe to go back out there, then no," I made a movement toward the door. "I'm good from here."

"He's not in his room," Reid sounded of boredom and forced surrender. I could have sworn I saw him roll his eyes. "If you're looking for Winstead, I mean."

"Do you know where he is?" I spoke with masked agitation. I saw that smirk come out then.

"Library, maybe?" He advanced toward me slowly. "Study date? Important student council meeting?"

I rolled my eyes and made another step toward the door, which Reid efficiently blocked.

"Listen," his voice sounded resigned. "Drop the nerd and come with me."

"There's something I had to ask him," I started as I remembered Brianna's words - don't trust Reid Garwin.

"There's a party out past old Putnam barn," he spoke as if I'd never had.

"I thought it burned down?" I said before I could stop myself, remembering Caleb's haunting words. 'We never found the body'...

I shivered involuntarily and pulled my arms around myself.

"Here," Reid took another zipper hoodie from his bed and threw it at me. Very gentlemanly, I thought. I didn't feel like putting it on, but I was cold and there really wasn't time to go back to the dorm to get my own jacket...

"Just put it on," he spoke annoyed. "And give it back to me later." I put the stupid thing on and tried not to notice how deliciously boyish it smelled. I tried to turn that part of my human nature - that responded to Reid - off.

"Now what were you saying about that party?" I started, trying to sound vaguely interested. I really wanted to know more about Putnam barn and what Caleb had to do with a dead body.

Long shot, I thought.

"It's off campus," his blue eyes almost sent a chill down my spine. "I doubt your Ry would be there."

My Ry. I tried not to chuckle and shrugged instead.

"Well, thanks for your help anyway," I sounded nonchalant, even to myself. "But I should really start making my move before Higgins comes back."

"You sure do spend a lot of time with Winstead," Reid's voice sounded indignant. "What's up with that?" His eyes didn't hint to much and his posture screamed 'who cares', but his voice gave him away.

"I'm converting him over to the dark side," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. He moved closer to me until it became uncomfortable. Unbearably so. I could feel his breath tickle my face and it was - minty. And the better I could see him, the more I saw how sort of beautiful he was. I gulped and hoped my heart wasn't audible.

"I'd be happy to take his place," Reid barely muttered. He was looking at my lips again and I bit down on my lower one, hard. Bad habit.

You're already there, I thought to myself. If you have anything to do with Caleb and a maybe-dead body - you're not only bad, you're evil. And I shouldn't be here alone with you, in dimmed light. With no obvious weapons on hand.

His fingers barely brushed my cheek and it startled me out of my trance. My breath hitched and I felt my chest rise and swell with inhalation. I dared to look him in the eyes and found it unbearably intense.

Oh God, I thought. He's going to try and make me a nightly round.

I was practically chewing my lip now. Just get out of here, I chanted in my head. Move your legs, dammit!

My body wasn't responding the way I'd hoped.

I felt my eyelids droop in a sign of submission. Since when? Please. To this boy? I was sure he was going to kiss me, but I felt his hand drop instead and when I looked fully at his face I saw that he looked indifferent from before. Speculative, maybe. But definitely indifferent.

I jumped at the sound of someone pounding on the door. Reid instantly flew to it and I backed away to the nearest wall.

"Jesus, Caleb," Reid growled.

"We're leaving," Caleb announced before he caught a glimpse of my form. I straightened my back and steadied myself for a questioning eye. Reid turned to look at me and I saw that same sparkle of mischief from earlier.

"You coming?" He asked, and I saw Caleb look at us with confusion. He had a girl beside him, a blonde one - pretty, of course.

I shook my head hard. No way am I going with you and your cult that kills people, I thought. Reid turned to look at Caleb and smirked.

"She's coming," Reid acknowledged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I glared at him and walked up to them - realizing that the rest were all outside. Pogue, Tyler and another pretty girl with dark hair and cinnamon skin.

"This is Sarah," he introduced before I could get my words out. Calculated, I thought. Smooth one, Reid. I gave her a tight smile and found it almost impossible to believe that she was talking about dead bodies with Caleb moments ago.

"And I'm Kate," the darker one stuck her hand out at me, which I took. "And I've heard a lot about you already."

"The girl with the record," I acknowledged almost grudgingly - but couldn't help smiling at the thought.

"The girl who put Reid in his place," Tyler corrected.

"The reason I lost two-hundred bucks," Pogue sounded wounded, and I held my laugh back.

"I hope Reid has been behaving himself around you," Caleb sounded very adult-like and I caught Reid giving him a glaring eye.

"He saved me from getting caught tonight," I shrugged, looking at Reid. "I have reason to be grateful."

"Provost," Reid explained to Tyler, who looked confused. "And she was going to show just how grateful she was by coming out with us. Right, Dean?"

I met eyes with Kate, who smiled encouragingly. I wondered if she knew about the dead - or not dead - body. I shrugged, succumbing to - of all things a juvenile delinquient could succumb to - peer pressure. Kate's smile got friendlier.

"What part of California are you from?" Kate asked.

"San Jose."

"Porn capital of the world," Pogue acknowledged. "Sweet deal." Kate hit him in the gut.

"What brought you all the way to Spenser?" Tyler asked curiously as we walked toward - the front entrance, this time?

"Uh," I looked around confused, wondering if we'd get caught. I saw Caleb working on the door and it opened effortlessly. My body relaxed and I felt Reid's eyes on me. "My mom's an alumni, so they didn't hesitate to take me in. Anywhere else was impossible."

"You'd willingly send yourself to boarding school?" Reid's eyes narrowed in humourous speculation. We were outside now and falling behind the rest of the group. I tried to keep up but it felt almost impossible. I couldn't get away from being alone with Reid.

"Desperate times," I began. "You know how the saying goes." I shivered at the thought and felt Reid's eyes on me. He didn't mention it again.

I watched as Kate and Sarah slowed down to fall back with us and felt someone's - Kate's - arm link with mine.

"Let her breathe, Reid," Kate teased. "Go catch up with the boys. Cassandra rides with us."

I felt Reid's left hand brush my right one as we stood side by side and I looked up at him. His eyes were on me but then he quickly averted them to his friends ahead. He walked backward then, looking at me, before he bowed once again dramatically and I couldn't hold my giggle at his tomfoolery. He was amusing, if nothing else.

I hopped into the backseat of Sarah's car, vaguely realizing that escaping felt damn near easy with this crowd. For such an uptight prep school, anyway.

It was just us three girls then and I felt suddenly nervous. Girls usually didn't like me. And if they were as important to Spenser Academy as the Sons of Ipswich, then they had even more reason to dislike me - I was somewhat of an outcast, a mystery and a delinquent with no real important background.

"Reid likes her," Sarah said, and I looked at her as she glanced at Kate.

"Oh, definitely," Kate waved as if it were so friggin' obvious.

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

"You, silly," Kate turned to roll her eyes at me.

"No surprise there, either," Sarah continued. "I remember when I was the new girl."

"Technically, you still are," Kate reasoned. "Cassandra's just a shiny kind of new."

"True," Sarah shrugged.

"I'm only sitting right here, guys," I grumbled.

"It'd be funny to see Reid with a girlfriend," Sarah elbowed Kate playfully.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves!" Kate's eyes widened humorously. "He likes her, sure. But you know him..."

"They even dress the same," Sarah and Kate broke out into giggles.

"It's his sweater," I growled before motioning to take it off. "And I hope you're both joking. I have no intention of letting Reid like me...like that." I tried awkwardly to get the damn sweater off. What did they think? That because Reid decides he likes a girl that he'd just - wave his hands - and have her?

"He's not that bad, Cassandra," Kate spoke softer. "He gets a bad rep, but he's not evil or anything."

"He has feelings, too," Sarah chuckled.

I snorted in response.

"Look," I spoke, throwing the sweater next to me. "I could be friends with him. I'm sure he's no worse a person than me. But I'm not...into him...like that." My voice wavered. Was I into him? I pictured cornflower hair and ocean-blue eyes. Sarah eyed me in the rear-view and grinned.

"You're tough, I get it," Kate threw her hands in the air. "And we're just joking around, girl. I've known Reid for a very long time and I know how he is..."

"Difficult," Sarah mentally counted. "Pompous, egotistical..."

"So when Tyler told us about what happened-"

"And how you all but had his head on a stick..." Their voices got louder in amusement and I couldn't help but smile.

"She has dimples!" Kate noticed as she turned toward the backseat. "How cute." She dragged the 'cute' out longer than necessary.

I had to admit, I was fairly shocked at how easy it was to get along with Kate and Sarah. Kate was sort of loud where Sarah was a bit more reserved. But both girls weren't anything like I'd expected. Not bitchy or flashy or unaccepting in the least. It almost made me question whether or not I'd actually heard what I'd heard in the hall...

Almost.

"So," I looked for a typical girly conversation starter. "Any cute guys at this party?"

"Mmmm," Kate sighed at some mental image. "Erik Danci is one fine specimen."

"I think Nick Conrad is sort of hot..." Sarah murmured as she pulled into a huge - and I mean huge - clearing.

"Just point out the cute single ones as they come," I told them as we hopped out of the car and into a very conspicuous rave. It brought back memories of running wild with my old crowd, the friends I had to avoid back in San Jose if I ever wanted to clean my act up. It was always running - from one house to another - and partying. And killing the demons with other...distractions.

Distractions very much like this rave.

And you shouldn't be here, I thought to myself. If you get in trouble, mom will hate you. She'll never trust you again.

"Ladies," a male voice boomed from behind us and I found a guy with great hair smiling at us.

"Aaron," Kate spoke, and I swore it sounded more of annoyance than of greeting. "And Nick." She sounded a little more pleasant at his name.

"And who's your very beautiful friend?" Aaron took my hand before I could dodge it and held on tightly - I couldn't get out of his grip. His other hand held a beer. He brought my palm to his lips and kissed it. The look in his eye was so openly dirty that I worried he'd lick his way up my arm. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm Cassandra," I introduced myself dryly to this clearly one-track-minded vulture.

"Cassandra," he spoke, grinning. It was a wonder how he could make my name sound so - dirty.

"She's with us, Aaron," Kate grabbed my arm in a friendly tug-of-war and gave him a teasing - but stern - look.

"Mind if I steal her for a minute?" Aaron grinned at both girls while tugging at my arm. "I just want to introduce her to some people." I looked back at the two girls as they crossed their arms in disapproval.

"I'll meet up with you guys in a little bit," I smiled encouragingly. Kate nodded, and Sarah smiled a bit. I turned to walk with Aaron still tugging me along. I slipped my hand from his grip and he smiled a lopsided smile.

"Where you from, pretty lady?" It was Nick questioning me.

"California," I smiled at him. Someone passed him a red cup, and he passed it to me. I looked into the black mixture. There was no way that was going near my lips.

"She's that girl," Aaron gave Nick a suggestive look. "You know, the one-"

"The one who was in juvie for a year," I finished for him. "The one who got into quite a bit of trouble in her youth."

"You've still got some youth in you," Nick nudged me. "Let's make the best of it." He winked and it was only then that I recognized both boys were very, very drunk.

"I've had my fill," I wavered. "But thanks for the offer." I felt Aaron reach for my arm again and I dodged it.

"Get lost, Nick." He gave Nick a very suggestive look. I turned to look at him and saw his staring match with Aaron. He was faltering. I was more than clued in to what exactly Aaron wanted from me - and I decided to have a little fun with it. Something I used to do all the time in the past with guys like him...

"Where's he going?" I nodded my head in the direction of Nick's stumbling departure.

"Givin' us some breathing room," Aaron leaned closely into my face - giving me much, much less breathing room - and I blanched at the smell of beer on his breath.

"I thought you were going to introduce me to your friends...?" I played dumb. He was too drunk to see past the facade anyway.

"I've got everyone you need to know right here." He threw an arm around my shoulder and - I'mtotallyfuckingserious - grabbed his crotch.

What a dirtball.

"Oooh," I placed a hand on his chest and nearly broke into laughter. I never was good at keeping a straight face.. "So that's the game we're playing tonight, huh?" He stumbled backward a little and smiled stupidly.

"What games you got in mind, doll?" His eyes were hooded and his voice was husky. I smiled at the thought of my sweet victory.

"See," I leaned in even closer, till my lips just brushed his as I spoke. "I was thinking that you and I" - spoken very suggestively - "could go for a little stroll in the woods. For some privacy." I winked at him. He swayed before moaning at the feel of my hand on his pants belt-loop.

"What are we waiting for?" It came out sounding more like 'mmwwwwaitinfor?' I smiled deviously and couldn't hold back a chuckle. What a turd. Did guys out here really not know better? I'd done this tons of times - mastered it with Deirdre and Rachelle, of course - but with Aaron, it was too easy.

I guided him deep into the woods, making sure every now and then that I could still see the firelight from the bonfire. It wouldn't matter for Aaron, in the end - it was all down to how exhibited he was. I chuckled silently.

I stopped him and he spun around with his lips crashing down on mine. He was quite a sloppy kisser, though it could be that he was just a sloppy drunk. I felt his tongue desperately trying to pry my lips open.

"Aaron," I pushed him away playfully and gave him a scolded look. Then I wiped my mouth. "The game, love. Remember?"

"Mmmphm," he muttered, his eyes drooping and his body losing balance.

"Take off your clothes, Aaron." His eyes shot open then, and he laughed mischievously. "Hurry, I won't offer again." I needed him to be desperate, to obey like the little man ho that he was. He started stripping and I pressed my hand to my mouth, to stop the giggle from escaping. "Everything, Aaron. I want you in nothing but socks." I gave him a quick wink and he made a face that was supposed to be sexy.

"What about you, doll?" He slurred.

"Your treat first, you know," I spoke huskily. "And I'll strip just as soon as you're in your birthday suit." I tried not to laugh.

He made it out of his clothes in record time and I told him to close his eyes and lie down. I took a second to appreciate the view and almost giggled. I wondered if he would have agreed to this had he been sober. The body was alright, but I'd seen bigger - much bigger - than what Aaron was packing.

"Count to fifteen," I demanded. "I won't need much longer than that."

Like I said - a master of the arts, I was.

He started counting and I caught him scratching himself. He must've been really, really drunk.

But I wasn't stripping - I was collecting. Clothes, his clothes. I left nothing behind but the socks on his feet.

Hurry, I thought to myself as I suddenly dashed toward the golden light. I heard him sit up and yell.

"Bitch!"

He's probably not even on his feet yet, I mused to myself.

I made it to the end of the forest and walked out casually. No one even really noticed my appearance, or the fact that I had a pile of laundry in my hands.

"Cassandra!" I looked toward the source of the call and found Kate standing next to Pogue and Sarah. I made my way over to them, suppressing a grin.

"Where'd you go?" Sarah asked nonchalantly, eyeing the pile of clothes under my arm. "We were worried Aaron Abbott kidnapped you and buried your body in the woods." I giggled madly; there was only one body in the woods tonight, and it was as naked as the day it was born.

I felt Reid's presence behind me and sure enough, he was there. His eyes narrowed as he pulled a leaf from my hair.

"You look like you duked it out with a wood nymph," he spoke casually and I couldn't control the laugh that came out. It was too easy to picture Aaron sprouting leaves and dancing around the forest. Kate was suddenly laughing too, in a what's-going-on sort of way. Reid looked at me funny.

"What?" I questioned through giggles.

"Hmm," Reid tapped his mouth. "Why are you holding a pile of clothes?" It came out as more of a statement than a question and I threw the clothes down with a quick laugh under my breath.

"They're Aaron's," I spoke finally before dropping the garments to the ground in a satisfied huff. Kate - smart girl that she is - put two-and-two together and realized what I'd done. She covered her mouth for the laugh that had her bending at the waist.

"What?" Reid looked from me to Kate to Sarah with a weary eye. "What did you do with Aaron Abbott."

"I didnt do anything with him," I narrowed my eyes at him. "He was getting fresh and I couldn't resist a little harmless fun... and man, I haven't done that in a while." Kate was still laughing and suddenly she was laughing harder, pointing at the edge of the woods. That's when I saw Aaron wearing nothing but his socks.

One was on his foot, and the other was... well, on something else.

"Oh my God!" Sarah laughed and I pursed my lips as I met his eyes. He gave me the finger and made his way back to his truck - with lightning speed. "You're incredible."

"Please tell me how you did that," Kate spoke with excitement that was normal for her. "No, no - teach me."

"Your boyfriend wouldn't appreciate that," I looked at Pogue, whose shoulders were shaking with laughter.

I couldn't help but notice that Reid wasn't laughing.

"Guys," I turned to see Tyler and Caleb walking back from some unknown destination. "What'd we miss?"

"Pretty much the funniest thing that's ever happened at Spenser," Kate answered.

"Dean stole Aaron Abott's clothes," Reid said dryly, though I could sense that he wanted to laugh just from saying the words.

"He came from out of nowhere wearing nothing but socks," Sarah giggled madly with Kate. "And one of them was strategically placed."

Every bystander was laughing and pointing at Aaron's unexpected streaking. Reid was the only one not lauging.

Party pooper, I thought.

"How'd you manage that one?" Caleb was smiling despite himself.

"That's a good question," Reid looked at me accusingly, with a quirked brow. I crossed my arms.

"Not telling," I told Caleb, though I was looking at Reid.

It suddenly struck me as odd that Reid could be so hot and cold with me. If he liked me like that, he should have attempted normalcy in my presence at least. It made me think of Brianna's words - don't trust Reid Garwin. He plays mind games. He's a manipulator and a charmer...

Not exactly a charmer, I thought. And yet you're still intrigued. Ha.

"Cassandra?"

I turned around and found Ry - of all people to show up at a rave! - standing next to a few kids I hadn't met.

"Ry!"

I turned my head to look at Kate, who was standing closest to me.

"I'll be right back, OK? I have to talk to him about something," I nodded to where Ry was standing.

"Ryan Winstead?" She made a contemplative face. "You know him?"

"She knows him very well," I heard Reid answer snidely. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll tell you about it later," I gave her a look that hopefully told her to ignore any implication Reid gave about it. I made my way over to where Ry was. He made a few steps toward me and away from the group of kids he was standing next to.

"Hey," he smiled, though it was mixed with confusion.

"Hey yourself," I lifted my brow. "Did you know you're harder to find than Jimmy Hoffa's body?"

"It goes with the job description," Ry shrugged and I saw his eyes quickly glance back towards the Sons.

"Class president," I teased. "I'm sure that's only half the repertoire."

"Don't sass me," he placed a hand on my upper back and motioned for us to walk. "Why are you hanging out with Reid Garwin and company?"

"That," I huffed, "is your fault." He made a very boyish confused face.

"How is it my fault?" His inky black eyes looked at me seriously.

"I went looking for you earlier and ran into him," I nodded toward where Reid was. "He introduced me to the girlfriends of said Sons and I got suckered into coming here."

"You were looking for me?"

"For days," I clipped as I looked up at him. He was quite the giant, although his frame was rather slim. I was a tall girl and I still had to crane my neck to see him. "I've been trying to talk to you about that thing with Reid-"

"You should leave Reid alone," Ry cut me off. "You have no idea the things I've heard him say."

I averted my gaze and turned my neck back toward the Sons, Kate and Sarah. The girls were talking to Pogue and Tyler, and Caleb was discussing something with Reid. And just as I'd thought I'd seen Caleb give him that 'look' - the reprimanding look - I saw Reid turn his head and look at me. I had no idea what Caleb was saying, and I couldn't delve into Reid's body language. His gaze didn't falter and I quickly turned my head around.

"What kind of things?"

"You don't want to know," Ry's voice was rather uncomfortable-sounding. "Just don't go finding out for yourself and take my advice. He's trouble."

"You're the second person to tell me that today," I mumbled. Then something hit me. "Hey, do you know anything about Putnam barn burning down?"

"That happened back in September," he looked down at me closely. "Some transfer kid named Chase supposedly burned down with it. Why do you ask?" I chewed my lip frantically.

"I heard someone mention it, that's all," my voice cracked. "Does Caleb have anything to do with it?"

Shit. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Actually, yes," Ry nodded and I felt my head pound. "Chase and Caleb were both in the barn that night. Rumor is they duked it out in there and probably caused the fire. Caleb says the smoke was too thick to see through and he barely made it out, and he couldn't find Chase at all."

"That's awful," I tried to sound sympathetic but man was it hard, knowing what I knew. Caleb wasn't being honest about that story. He knew something about... about the body. I almost gnawed my lip off.

"Weird things happen around here," Ry shivered and it was then that I realized we weren't walking anymore. Auto pilot much? "Hey, you OK? You look spaced."

"Spooked," I corrected him. And really fucking ready to go home.

But don't you want to find out the truth?

I realized that if I was stuck here I might as well play Nancy Drew, too.

"Do you want me to take you back?" Ry offered, and I realized that I was more than ready to go back. I didn't know if being Reid Garwin's friend was a good idea, seeing as how he was pretty much mixed up in this shit by default.

That's if he wasn't directly involved to begin with.

"Were you about to leave?" I asked him hesitantly.

"I wasn't, but I never really cared for these things," he shrugged. "I only went tonight because I thought I'd see you."

"Oh sure," I narrowed my eyes at him. "Because looking for me at the dorms would make no sense at all."

He shrugged again.

Boys. Who the hell can really understand them?

"I'm gonna go say bye to Kate and Sarah," I motioned. "I'll be back, OK?" I wasn't going to ask him to tag along.

"Sure," he nodded.

I walked back over to where the Sons were and instantly caught Reid's eye.

"You're leaving," he stated. Not a question.

"I shouldn't be here," I reasoned. "This isn't safe for me. Probation, ya know?"

He didn't quite look pissed, but I had a feeling that he was.

"Winstead's taking you." Again, not a question. A statement.

"He offered," I shrugged. "He was about to leave too." I saw him look over my shoulder at Ry and had a feeling there was a staring contest going on. How very fucking mature.

"Reid," I began. "I don't know what your beef is with Ryan but-"

"He's not my biggest fan," Reid sounded sarcastic. His eyes fell on me again and I felt him close the already short distance between us. I craned my neck as he bent his so our eyes were level - he was just as tall as Ry. "And I think I know why."

Static friction, I thought. Whenever you're near me, there's static in the air. And it scares me. It makes me not myself...

I went to say something and he finally closed the distance - and I mean completely. His hands cupped my face and then weaved their way into my hair and I saw him smirk a little as his breath tickled my face and those tasty eyes devoured my lips before I felt his on mine and ohmyfuckingwordI'mkissingReidGarwin!!

I may not have liked the things that came out of Reid Garwin's mouth but at that very intense mind-fuck of a moment I liked the things he did with it.

Reid kissed like no other.

I didn't know whether or not I wanted to concentrate on his hands entangled in my hair - which felt amazing, by the way - or on his lips, which were neither vulgar nor impaired. Most boys liked to stick their tongue in and get as much action as possible but Reid wasn't done with my bottom lip just yet. He started with a simple kiss, his softness on my softness, before parting them and taking my lips in segments. He grazed my top lip gently with his tongue before finding my oh-so-pouty bottom lip (the first time I'd appreciated it's pouty-ness, by the way) and enveloping it with a gentle suck and graze of a bite. I couldn't tell if the vibrating moans were mine or his.

It was the catcall that broke me from my reverie.

I pulled away instantly, feeling my face flood with heat. My body wanted to meet his body against a tree in the woods and do bad things with it, but my mind knew better.

Reid was a manipulator and charmer. Reid was trouble.

"Get a room!"

It was Pogue. I tried not to kill him with my stare but that was damn near impossible. Kate and Sarah were giggling.

Reid wasn't paying them any mind. He had the look of male smugness plastered on his face. His eyes were low and hooded and I saw mischief dance behind them. He never took his gaze off me.

As wide as my eyes were, I couldn't hide the fact that I'd enjoyed it. He knew, I was sure. I kissed him back after all.

I tried to get my voicebox working but nothing would come out. What would I say, anyway? Everything felt stupid. Do I tell him never to do that again? I might want him to do it again.

Don't lie to yourself, Cassandra. You want that again. You want that every night.

Do I tell him he's an idiot? He wasn't, not in the least. He'd mastered the art of kissing. Of seduction.

Of manipulation.

Shit! I'd forgotten all about Ry. With a sick feeling in my stomach, I turned back to look for him.

He was already gone.


	4. Determined

"Cass."

I twisted and turned in my bed, sheets forming something of a cocoon around my bare legs and oversized tee.

"Cassie."

I scowled even in my sleep at the sound of the stupid nickname. Brianna had taken to shortening my name every which way as of late, and I stopped caring enough to correct her.

"Yes, Brie?" Payback doth come in the form of cheese as a nickname.

"Blech," I heard her fake puke. "Wake up, lazybones. We have class in an hour."

I stretched my arms and yawned obnoxiously loud, reveling in the warmth of my big fluffy down comforter. The mornings that passed since the Garwin Kiss (God, was I really counting down the days in Garwin moments?) had been pretty routine for Brianna and I. Alarm would go off, I'd remain in my coma, she'd get up and snooze it, I'd remain in my coma, she'd shout my name out four or five times while I'd remain in my coma. Eventually I'd wake to an update of get-your-ass-moving-class-starts-in-t-minus-sixty-minutes.

Yep, things were peachy on our side of the dorms.

While Brianna and I got closer by default, other friendships - like Ry and I - simply dissipated until they were whittled down to a wave or a nod in passing, had the occasion ever occur. And it never really did, I realized. Ry wasn't usually in my vicinity; he was smart and accomplished and studied a lot. I took to my room or the cafeteria, pausing briefly through out the days to finish homework on the fly or take showers and do laundry.

And, unsurprisingly enough, Reid took to ignoring me. Again.

As if we hadn't sucked face in front of a large populus.

I'd totally prepared myself to ignore him, or at least brush him off, until I realized that he wasn't making an attempt at anything - not by word or look or deed. And with that, I grew even more annoyed because I could guess at what he was doing. He was putting himself in a power position - kissing me because he knew he could, and because he knew it'd bother Ry. He probably knew Ry trash-talked him. Gossip seemed to spread like wildfire here. And I was a pawn in the game that is Reid Garwin. I'd been warned. I didn't listen.

And I suddenly realized how foolish I felt at thinking someone so vital to the Spenser kids would actually pause for a girl like me. I mean, sure - I was different, a little out there on the scale of 'interesting', a good gossip piece for pillow talk. And I wasn't a dog. I got a few stares every now and then, from anyone who dared to check me out. But I wasn't a raven haired hottie like Kate or a wispy blonde like Sarah. They were dainty and delicate and - dare I say - sexy.

I couldn't help but snort at my own revelation: I have the sex appeal of a rock.

Kate doesn't pick fights in class. Sarah doesn't throw boys against lockers with intent to hurt them. Even my 'fake' sexy isn't all that sexy - Aaron Abbott was drunk; it's not that hard to rouse a drunken teenage boy.

I found Reid's indifference an annoyance for about a minute before realizing it for the blessing it was. No questions. No acknowledgments. No bullshit. I was free to pass Go and collect $200. I could return to passing my time here, get on the first flight home come August and pretend Spenser was just a bad dream I'd had for the past year.

Yeah, easy. Sure.

I still had to deal with Ryan Winstead. I'm sure he'll take to being my friend again, since I'm so keen on taking his good advice. And I'm sure I don't deserve any less than what he gives me - silent treatment, anyone?

"I hate this class," Lily groaned as we stepped into our first-period Drama class with the incorrigeable Mrs. Powell.

"I second that," I moaned. I wasn't one for acting, so I knew from the start that this class wouldn't be my strongest grade here at Spenser. And, to make it worse, Powell had assigned us three very boring movies over the course of three weeks - none of which I'd been able to stay awake through. All of which were going to appear on the midterm.

"What's up with you and Ry?" Lily gave me a side glance and a questioning brow.

"Nothing," I shrugged. Shit. So he was talking about me now?

"Didn't look like nothing when he cold-shouldered you in the library yesterday," Lily spoke sarcastically.

"Do spill," Cole spoke from behind us as he threw his arms around both of our shoulders.

"Oh no," I moaned. "Is it obvious that he hates me?"

"Well, Ry usually isn't so..."

"Distant," Lily finished. "Unsocial."

"I think he's mad at me for the Reid thing," I felt my head drop. "He warned me about him and I took it with a grain of salt."

"Oh please," Lily waved it off. "Reid practically attacked you, from what I've heard."

"That's not what I heard," Cole laughed. "I heard miss thing over here was all up on him like swimwear."

"What?" I spoke a bit too loudly. A few girls threw us looks from over their shoulders. "What do you mean?"

"That's not what happened," Lily elbowed him. "Reid's just playing his usual games with our girl here and it probably hurt Ry's ego."

"Well, duh," Cole looked at us stupidly. "Ry wants Cassandra. Bad."

My eyes nearly bugged out as I looked at Cole - and then Lily, for an explanation.

"Cole!" Lily threw him a warning glance.

"No, no," I grabbed Cole by his tie. "You can't say something like that and then not explain!"

"He's just kidding," Lily smiled fakely and kicked Cole under her desk. "Ry just knows things and doesn't want anyone to get hurt. He's a sweetheart like that."

"Sure," Cole muttered with sarcasm.

"I hope you're joking," I spoke solely to Cole. "I'd rather he hate me than..."

"Than like you?" Lily looked at me dumbly. "Ryan is a good guy. It's not a bad thing."

"No," I shook my head. "Ryan is a good guy, of course. But that's my thing. He's too good. Too good for me."

"Ugh," Cole moaned. "Spare me the pity party. If you ever plan on patching your friendship up with Ry, you better get on that-"

"Now," Lily finished for him. "So we can all be a happy group of friends again."

Lily and I had became almost as close as Brianna and I had; she was easier to talk to about Ry. I never knew where to draw the line with Brianna - I knew she liked Ry, that much was obvious. It only made talking about him awkward; I didn't want her to get any ideas about my feelings toward him (which were strictly amicable).

I slumped in my chair as Mrs. Powell made her grand entrance; I wasn't really looking at anything, sort of staring out into space - so imagine my surprise when I heard this come out of her mouth:

"Take a seat over there, Garwin."

My head shot up and I felt my mouth gape. What the hell was Reid doing in my drama class?

I watched him very inconspicuously as he walked to about the fifth row of seats in the lecture hall - two rows above mine - and took a seat next to this kid Henry Seville. As he sat I looked toward the front of the class and didn't dare turn my head even ninety degrees in his direction, even though I wanted to. I wanted to know why I had to bear yet another hour with this enigma - one was more than enough.

"Dude, you're taking this class?" My ears perked at Henry Seville's question obviously meant for Reid.

"I got kicked out of French," Reid answered nonchalantly. I could imagine him shrugging it off. "LeFrou didn't appreciate my strong personality."

I almost snorted. Henry Seville did, and a few girls giggled as well.

I felt Lily elbow me and I leaned my head toward her, knowing what she had to say was for my ears only.

"Lucky you," she spoke lowly and I could hear the sarcasm in her voice. I smiled as I reached over to her notebook and scribbled a little note:

Fuck. My. Life.

I heard her laugh and cover her mouth to prevent it from reaching Powell. Of course, that wasn't possible.

"Anything you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Miss Duffy?"

She shook her blonde head enthusiastically.

Mrs. Powell had us sitting through about forty five minutes worth of old-school Othello before announcing that we'd be watching a modern-day based movie on the Shakespeare classic next week. I didn't bother reading the book, although we were supposed to have been more than half way through it by now. And I should have been working more closely on understanding the dialogue, because we were going to be putting on a performance by Christmas break - which I was not looking forward to. Everyone had to re-enact a scene from the book, of Mrs. Powell's choice. She was going to assign us our scenes today, right before the end of our class.

"OK, everyone listen for your name and make note of who your partner is," she shouted above the low hum of a grumbling class. "I strongly suggest you work your time out together and meet at least once a day to practice."

She began listing off names: Corrine Bailey and Mark Carrigan, Denise Martiney and Quinn Malik, Rita Irizarry and John Davis...

"Lily Duffy and Cole Sutton," Mrs. Powell looked up at them from her half-moon glasses. "In keeping with the spirit of Shakespeare, that should be an interesting performance. Enjoy, you two."

Cole and Lily were an unbreakable coupling - even Spenser teachers understood that.

"I get to choke you out," Cole gloated.

"Sounds hot," Lily whispered. I snorted and shook my head.

"Cassandra Dean," Mrs. Powell shouted out, and I sat up almost instantly. "I originally paired you with Trevor Wallace but we're expecting him to be out sick for a while." Mono, I rememberd someone mentioning it in the hall. It was going around.

I almost groaned at the revelation of this fact.

"Therefore, I'm pairing you with Reid Garwin until I figure out what to do with him," she nodded at us and I slumped in my seat. "Reid, you have about a month's worth of work to catch up on, so I doubt you'll be ready for the play. Give me a chance to work around this and help Cassandra study her lines. Practice with her."

I suppressed a huff and turned my head slowly upward to where Reid sat, looking way too-cool-for-school. His eyes met mine and I raised an indignant eyebrow at him. He twiddled his fingers at me in acknowledgment and I looked away, returning my glance toward the front of the class. I didn't even want to really look at him, get a good look at him. I didn't want to have to remember his face as anything more than a blur.

The bell rang then and I gathered my notebooks, refusing to approach Reid about the whole stupid Othello thing. I could deal with it another time. If it had been my old high school, I probably would have just abandoned the whole project all together.

Ah, yes. Back when I didn't give a rat's ass. Back when my life consisted of getting wasted and arrested, in that order.

Now that Spenser was my second-calling to goodness, I actually had to care about things like homework and exams and stupid, stupid Shakespeare plays.

Luckily, Reid didn't bother asking me about it. I hadn't expected him to, anyway - it wasn't his problem. He didn't have to perform in front of the whole school. He was only assigned to help me.

The day passed by in a whirlwind of events, none of which I payed any special attention to. Lunch was as entertaining as it always was: Lily and Brianna and I would made random conversation as Cole and Ry and Donovan would talk sports or video games. I would most definitely not glance toward Reid's far-off table, where Very Important People clearly sat - Caleb and Pogue and Tyler, along with the girlfriends who occasionally greeted me and made small talk. It was sort of awkward, considering Reid ignored me as usual and I knew they knew that, as well - but they were sweet girls and we got along regardless.

My Criminal Law class let out early, and I got a chance to dip into the hallways before the midday mad rush back to the dorms. As I made my way from one building to another, anticipating a shower and long nap, I felt someone's presence behind me. I went to turn and look behind me, and yelped when an arm was thrown over my shoulder.

"Hey, Dean," Reid whispered in my ear. My heart both slowed and sped at the same time.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" I snapped. He smirked his trademark Cheshire half-grin.

"I like scaring you."

"That's creepy," I replied. His damned arm was still around my shoulder. I wanted to rip it off me indignantly.

"You mean sneaky," he corrected, and continued before I could object. "Sort of like your little friend Ryan Winstead."

"What are you talking about?" I looked up at him and felt misty rain coat my skin. His eyes met mine and I was stupefied for a few seconds - the blueness of his eyes, the sharply defined structures of his face. It was all so...lovely.

Lovely? I almost scowled. Almost.

Instead I shrugged his arm off my shoulder.

"Ah, nevermind," Reid sighed and pretended the conversation got too boring for his liking. "When do you wanna study your lines?"

"Uh," I stammered, "I haven't even thought about it yet. Give me time."

"You don't have a whole lot of time for this," Reid scolded and smiled at the same time.

"Let me worry about it," I felt like wiping that smug look right off his face. "It's not like you have to memorize any lines."

"Dean," he lowered his head to meet my eyes, "I've been in six plays in the last two years. Powell knows I can act. That's why she's assigned me to you."

Oh, really? So now I was receiving pity help from Reid Garwin?

Is there anything this boy can't get away with?

"Huh," I snorted. "I've been in plays. I can act just fine."

"Clearly," he replied rather intensely. I looked up at him once more to find his fingerless-gloved hands dug in front pockets, bomber jacket unzipped and revealing the Oxford shirt and tie our uniform required.

He made it look good, no doubt.

"Tomorrow," I spoke, still looking up at him. "We'll practice tomorrow."

"My room?" He met my eyes.

"How about mine," I stated. There was no way I planned on being alone with him, in his turf. "Say, seven-ish. No earlier."

"Whatever you want," he shrugged and smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. His gaze was focused on something else, and when I turned to look forward I found Ryan pacing around outside the door to my dorm. Another wave of anxiety hit me.

Ry looked up and found my form, met my eyes and then met Reid's. He stopped pacing.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dean," Reid lowered himself to fix his hushed voice on my ear, and I could only swallow hard and nod.

I didn't watch Reid turn and leave; I was too stunned to see Ryan outside my dorm.

I quickly walked up to meet him, covering my hair from the now-pelting rain with a textbook.

"Hey," I greeted him cautiously. He wasn't usually too responsive to my being overly friendly to him these days.

"Hey," he nodded once. "Do you have a minute?"

I paused to take in his presence: full out Spenser uniform - unconventionally handsome, I'd thought him once to be. Then I yanked my room key from my pocket and jammed it through the door, letting us both in.

I dropped my books and took off my sneakers as Ryan made his way over to Brianna's bed and sat; I plopped on my own and crossed my legs Indian style, not forgetting that I was still in a skirt.

"What's up?" I asked him casually.

Ryan looked perturbed, unsure of what to say next but knowing what he needed to say, as well. Funny how I could read all that just from his facial expressions.

"I sort of owe you an apology," Ry looked up from Brianna's sham and met my gaze. "I've been rude to you for a while now."

"I guess this is the part where I say I deserved it?" I spoke a little harder then I'd meant. "It's easier than telling you what really happened with Reid and I, since you don't want to hear any of that."

"It's not that I don't want to hear it, Cassandra," Ry shook his head. "I'm just frustrated with myself is all."

I contemplated my next words carefully. There was a part of me that wanted to believe Cole's revelation in drama class to be a farce, though I knew it wasn't. Why else would Ryan care so much about my interactions with Reid?

"I just want you to know that when Reid kissed me, it wasn't what it looked like."

"Cassandra..." Ry sighed

"I wasn't expecting it-"

"I know."

"No, you don't," I bit back. "I know how it looked, but I was caught off guard. And the awkwardness of the whole situation only made it harder to react the way I normally would have. I didn't want to kiss him, Ry."

This time, Ryan's chest sunk in exhale and he saw that I wasn't bullshitting him; maybe the kiss itself wasn't awkward, but the surprise of his attack was, anyway. And I didn't have to mention anything about slightly liking it. I didn't want to push my luck and it wasn't his business, anyway.

"Listen," Ry paused my mini-speech with outward palms. "I'm apologizing because I know what Reid really thinks about you, about girls in general...and I just don't want you to get hurt. I took out my frustrations on you and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not sorry about warning you. What you do with it is your own business."

I crossed my arms and sat quietly, looking out the rain-pelted glass window above Brianna's bed. What did he want me to say? Did he want an apology from me? Assurance that I'd leave Reid alone?

"Why was he walking you back here, anyway?" Ryan's tone wasn't defensive or accusing. Merely curious.

"Powell assigned him the duty of helping me study my lines for the Othello play," I groaned. "He wanted to know when we should meet up."

"Ah."

My eyes involuntarily darted toward Ry and I saw him blow a pent-up breath. He looked so...strained. Confused. I couldn't even help the words that left my mouth at that moment. I wanted to swallow them right back up the moment they were said:

"Why do you care so much?"

He didn't answer right away, actually. He just sat there and stared at me, not dumbly - but contemplatively. And then he shrugged it off, as if it didn't matter.

"Just feel bad is all," Ry stood from the bed. "If you heard Reid in the gym locker rooms, you'd know what I mean."

Luckily I wouldn't ever, ever have to.

"So," I dragged. "Friends?"

"Still friends," Ry agreed. I smiled at the easiness of his voice.

I walked him to the door and leaned against the frame as he turned to face me. He immediately dug his hands in his pockets.

"Cassandra," he looked me in the eyes as he spoke. "I don't want you to think this has anything to do with making you choose between Reid and I. Our issues have nothing to do with you..."

"I know," I chirped perkily. Very unlike myself to be perky but damn, I felt lifted. Relieved of one stress, at least.

"He's dangerous," Ry's voice turned dark instantly. "The four of them are all dangerous. I've seen people close to them get hurt, and I don't want that to happen to you. So please..."

My breath hitched as his fingertips grazed my cheeks, light as dovefeathers.

"Be careful."

I dropped my gaze, preferring the view of my Puma socks - like the emotionally-incompetant that I am - and felt the absense of his hand immediately. It couldn't have been helped, my next thought.. if telepathy existed, Ry would have been sending me memories of strange moments as warnings...

'We never found the body...'

Secret whispers in black-out hallways, talk of dead boys and burning barnhouses. It was strange. More than that, it was scary... they thought he was dead. But who? That transfer from Hastings? Was he dead?

And more importantly, did the Sons want him to be?

I shouldn't have wanted to know, but I did. I really, really did. The secrecy of those boys... the strangeness that is Reid Garwin - it hit close to home. I had secrets once, ones that shamed me, and the misunderstanding of my past hurt me. I didn't kill anyone, but I might have. I almost killed myself. If people knew the truth, maybe they'd understand...

I wanted to know the truth.

And by the time I lifted my head in determination, I found that Ry was already gone. 


	5. Condemned

The next day passed in a heavy fog, very similar to the weather outside the Spenser building. At lunch, Ry made the first move of our rekindled friendship by sitting next to me instead of Cole and Donovan. I smiled when I found him sitting in my usual seat.

"Wow," I exclaimed. "This is new."

"I see you guys finally made up," Lily perked from behind me, her heels clacking in their wake. "Change of seats?"

"I thought I'd have lunch with Cassandra today," Ry blushed as he looked down at his folded hands.

"Donny's not gonna be happy about that," Lily teased. "Cole will make due. About time we act like we're together."

This time, I blushed.

I sat in the chair next to Ry and tried not to look for Brianna in the crowd of people filling the lunch room. She wouldn't like the new seating arrangements. I knew her enough to know this. But she wouldn't say a word about it, and that hurt me - because I knew it embarrassed her. Ryan may or may not have a crush on me, but I knew he talked to me more than he did her and I wrongly hated both of us for it.

When Brianna sat in her usual seat, she made no comments about anything. We ate and chatted about our usual randomness, and somehow this only made me feel worse.

Stupid boys. Stupid me for wanting this friendship.

Brianna eventually ended up at another table, leaning over Amanda Miller's shoulder to look at some pictures from summer vacation, and Cole and Lily were heating things up at their end of the table, whispering what couldn't have been for anyone else's ears. Donovan and another boy I knew to be Carter Smith were chatting up a girl that ended up at our table, Penelope Martinez. That left Ry and I sitting side by side rather awkwardly.

"I can't believe that after being here for over a month I still haven't been around town," I sighed, spinning my water bottle cap.

"Seriously?" He looked surprised. "Why not?"

"Well, I don't have a car," I pointed out. "And I'm too lazy for public transportation."

"So, take mine," he replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't mind."

"Or you could take me?" I didn't know my way around Ipswich, embarrassingly enough.

"Depends when," he shrugged. "I usually have a lot going on during the week. I only get out on the weekends, if that. It sucks."

I nodded and found my eyes drifting lazily over the cafeteria. Everyone was engaged in conversation with someone else. I dared to look at Reid's table and found Sarah and Caleb facing each other rather disgustingly. Pogue was scarfing down fries and talking to Tyler with no real enthusiasm. Two girls sat across from Reid, flirting in a stupid giggly kind of way, and Kate was digging her fork in Pogue's fry basket. She looked sad, which was weird. The Kate I knew didn't look sad, ever. Suddenly, her eyes lifted and looked right at me. I was startled for only a second before remembering to smile - we were friendly, right? She smiled back, but it was strained. I saw her eyes quickly dart toward Ry and then look away instantly, turning toward Pogue and laying a kiss right on his neck.

I didn't even think anything of it until I realized that Ry was looking in her direction, too.

I immediately looked down at the bottle cap in my hands, not liking what I'd just seen and the feeling it gave me.

Ry and Kate.

Ry.

And Kate.

Ugh, I needed to get a hold of myself. Seriously. Kate probably saw us sitting together and thought it unusual since that wasn't our usual arrangement. Ry caught me smiling at someone and turned to see that it was Kate. I'd turned to see him looking at Kate as she canoodled with her boytoy.

One big happy misunderstanding.

And just to prove I was right, I looked back at the VIP lunch table and found everything as it was - Sarah and Caleb, Tyler and Pogue with Kate still hugging his side, Reid and two girls making a public mockery of me and a few stragglers stopping to chat with the Sons. Everything as it was.

Just to be sure, I turned to find Ry digging in his backpack. He looked up at me and I smiled. That felt better.

Something inside told me it was very wrong to get that jealous.

Ryan is a friend, the little voice reminded me. Remember?

"Everything OK?" Ry looked confused.

No. Everything isn't OK. I'm a jealous broad, and you're just a friend. Most certainly, everything is not OK.

"Yes," was what I said.

"Good." He went back to digging in his backback and I turned away. I bit my lip so hard it probably bruised.

I looked back at Kate's table, just to be sure. She wasn't paying us any more attention than before.

Reid was, however. Looking at me as if seeing me for the first time, oddly enough. But it was fleeting, and when the giggle twins pulled on his blazer he returned to being his usual, fickle self.

I wasn't surprised when lunch gave me indigestion for the rest of the day.

Classes passed by like little blips in time. Even Criminal Law was mind-blowingly boring, despite Reid's presence. He slept through the whole lecture.

Brianna and I went and got dinner around 5:30 at the cafeteria. We brought it back to our room and, much to my delight, watched Grey's Anatomy re-runs. I'd missed a whole season the year I spent in juvie. Turns out we both have a thing for McSteamy (Patrick Dempsey has nothing on Eric Dane). Brianna was out cold by the second episode of the disc, but I was so engaged in the likes of Derek and Meredith that the sky could've fell and I wouldn't have noticed.

I certainly didn't notice the door-knocking until it became so heavy I nearly jumped out of my skivvies.

"I'll get it," I said, even though Brianna was beginning to snore.

I certainly was surprised by who stood on the other side of the door frame.

"Reid!"

In that one second, I did a quick mini-mental of what I was wearing: jersey shorts that hadn't fit me right since ninth grade and a t-shirt that read 'WELL IT AIN'T GONNA LICK ITSELF!' Brianna thought it was hilarious, so I'd had no qualms with wearing it in private. And actually, it belonged to Deirdre - I'd borrowed it years ago and never gave it back. Somehow it always ended up right back in my laundry.

"It's seven-thirty, Dean," Reid announced.

"You're late," I quickly crossed my arms over the big, bold letters tattered on my chest.

"And you forgot," he countered, smirking and making his way past me. I closed the door and switched on the lamp by my bed. It was dim enough to keep Brianna quiet but light enough for me to see him wholly. He was wearing faded black jeans and Chucks, with a white t-shirt. No gloves, no hat. Very different.

I had the urge to pull my shorts down. I might have been paranoid but I knew they didn't cover my cheeks right.

What I did was dig into my bookbag and pull out Othello, the book I hadn't touched since Powell handed them out in class.

"I'm going to guess you didn't read it," Reid flopped onto my bed, shoes and all, arms folded under his head. Hmm.. from this position I could see the band of his boxers very well. They were dark blue.

"Nope," I muffled as I went over to Brianna's side and yanked the remote from her hand. She sighed and buried herself so far under the covers, all you could see was patches of red hair splayed on her pink pillow.

I looked over to see him watching me. It was devestatingly uncomfortable to think of what he saw when my back faced him.

"Care to give me a run-down?" I tried to pretend I didn't care about exposing enough skin to make Flesh Hunters proud.

"Didn't you watch the movie?"

"You're not the only one who falls asleep in class," I raised my brow at him. "Move over."

He moved his legs to the side but made no effort to distance himself. I plopped opposite him, feeling rather uncomfortable in this new position. Why couldn't I wear the baggy sweats I usually opt for?

Calm down!, the little voice in my head yelled. It's no big deal.

Yeah, no big deal until he grabbed my bare ankle and yanked it toward him.

"Reid," I yelped. "What-"

"You have a tattoo?" He sounded sort-of surprised. Humbled, even.

I sat as still as I could as his hand wrapped completely around my ankle, bringing it to his chest for further inspection. As he read the inscription I balanced myself by holding onto the foot-board of the bed, remembering to breath as he fingered the symbols wrapping completely around my bony ankle.

"Must've hurt," he spoke lowly.

"Imagine getting it done twice," I almost laughed. I brought my other leg up onto the bed and displayed even more ink. What must have been strange symbols to him were actually Hebrew. I had the quote I'd written translated into another language - it was just too personal for anyone else's eyes.

"What language is it?"

I felt a chill run down my spine as his deft fingers found my ankle again and gently placed it by my other leg.

"Hebrew."

He didn't ask what it said.

He did, however, ask how many tattoos I sported.

"Seven," I mentally counted. "And don't even ask to see them all."

"I'm not going to ask," he smirked. "You're just going to show me."

"Reid, I can't."

"Why not?" He frowned.

"Because when I was getting them done I didn't think I'd have someone asking me to display my body like an art exhibit," I growled. "So I put some in...difficult places."

"Hmm," Reid's eyes roamed my body and I could have beat him with a pillow for it. "Kind of contradictory, no?"

"What do you mean?"

"You 'displayed' yourself to the tattoo artist, as you put it," he spoke logically. "Just think of me in that way."

I laughed, mentally congratulating him for being such a bastard.

"Reid, this isn't your job," I spoke lowly, smirking before getting up from the bed. "And I didn't think of the tattoo artist in a professional way."

"Oh?" He folded his arms, looking rather smug at the sight of tattoo number three - a small phoenix - on my hip bone.

"Nope," I chirped as I slowly lifted my shirt further, exposing a rather extensive quote on my ribcage while making sure to keep the twins safely under the fabric. Reid's eyes looked...hungry. The kind of eyes my mom would have covered if she were here. "The tattoo artist was my boyfriend."

Silence. No comments from him. And when I met his gaze, I instantly felt off.

Did I say hungry? No...not these eyes. The look shifted from pleased to...something else completely. It shocked me, gave me butterflies and knots in my stomach all at once. I didn't know what to call it.

"Ex-boyfriend," I finished.

Ex-boyfriend? What the hell was that all about?

We were both completely still for a second - not breathing, not blinking. I suddenly felt ashamed for exposing myself to Reid this way. I quickly turned my back on him and lifted the hem to let him see the artwork there. A long arabic prayer trailed down my spine; my best friend Remya had shown it to me when I was going through a dark time, and even though I wasn't religious it helped to calm me.

"The sixth is on the back of my neck," I lifted my hair to reveal an ankh, the symbol of eternal life. "And the seventh is on my wrist." I turned, not daring to meet his eyes again. I slid the braided bracelets up my arm to reveal tiny numbers - the date of my dad's birth followed by his death. I sat back on the bed, still avoiding his gaze. God, did he have to be so awkward? Couldn't he say something?

"Let's start," I pulled on the hem of my shorts, as if it mattered what Reid saw anymore. He saw enough of me tonight, didn't he?

His staring lasted only a second longer and then he sighed and grabbed the book next to him. He began to flip through it.

"We have to pick a scene," Reid said, strumming through the pages. "Act five, scene two is pretty easy."

I scooted closer to him, trying not to audibly inhale as I caught a whiff of his scent. It made my head spin.

"What is it about?"

His eyes lifted to meet mine.

"Othello accuses Desdemona of being a whore and then kills her." A playful smile danced across his face.

"You're kidding."

"It's an easy act," he shrugs.

"I'm not doing a scene like that, Reid."

"You'll hardly have any lines," he spoke, exhasperated. "And I've done it before, so I can help you better."

"So less lines coming from me would make a better scene?" I felt my cheeks redden as my temper flared.

"Not for nothing, Dean," he spoke slowly. "But unless you're a stellar actress, then yes. It would make a better scene."

I resisted the urge to yell at him. I clenched my fists instead.

"Whatever," I sighed. "Let's do the scene, then."

Reid tossed me the book and I glanced at the folded page. The death of Desdemona.

"So let me get this straight, " I crossed my legs as I spoke. "Othello is accusing her of what, exactly?"

"He thinks Desdemona's been sleeping around with their best friend behind his back," Reid tells me with a straight face. "Desdemona denies everything but Othello doesn't want to hear it."

"That's horrible."

"He strangles her to death," Reid lifts an eyebrow at me, his handsome face glowing in the soft light of my lamp.

"And creepy," I shudder, though I'm not sure if it's the play or Reid that makes me say it. "So I'm being choked out, basically?"

"Basically," Reid laughs lowly, and I try to hide the smile that threatens to show. "I'll let you in on a secret, though."

"What?"

Reid's face turns serious and he leans in close - too close for my liking - his lips far too near mine. I mean, come on - I can feel his breath! Reid's eyes fix on my bottom lip and I feel myself go stone cold.

"Powell's gonna make the class re-enact their scene in a modern-times version," Reid's breath tickles my face. "So, if you want, we can practice that before we get to the hard stuff. I know you need a good grade in this class."

I draw back instantly.

"And you don't?" Why did he have to make me feel so indifferent from everyone in this lousy, snot-faced rich-kid school?

"Of course I do," Reid reasoned. "But I've acted on stage before."

"Oh, right," I spoke sarcastically. "You've been given this job to help the poor little problem-child who can't get a good grade."

"Dean," Reid exhaled loudly. Brianna stirred in her bed. "That's not what I meant."

"You want to give me an easy scene?" I stood up, "fine. You want to give me less lines? OK. But don't assume I can't get a decent grade, Reid. And I definitely don't need your help."

"Or you won't accept it, you mean," Reid corrected, folding his arms.

"I wouldn't, even if I did need it."

"I know," Reid stood up then, not fast or erratic but rather laid-back like. "That's why I like you."

"Well, I don't like you."

"Why is that?" Reid's question wasn't meant to be answered. I knew this because he came as close to me as possible, nearly cheek-to-cheek. His lips lowered to my ear in secrecy, and I was just happy to hide from his penetrating eyes.

"I don't trust you," my voice cracked. I wanted to yell it right in his face but didn't have the balls to.

"But you trust Winstead," Reid's voice hardened. I could feel his hands heavy on my hips. One of them found the curve of my spine and tickled the base of my back. His fingertip traced its way up my spine, making me to shiver. When he got to my shoulder blades, I all but collapsed at his feet.

"Yes."

His left hand squeezed my hip so tightly I was sure it would bruise, but the gesture wasn't cruel. My breath hitched and his vise-like grip relaxed instantly; his fingertip found the base of my neck and made a funny sort of movement. He was tracing my ankh tattoo, I realized.

"Reid..."

He pressed my lower body into his with so much pressure, I felt an actual stab of pain. Then I realized what was causing the stab and blushed furiously.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I could hardly form the sentence coherently as I distanced myself from him.

"Doing what?" He dipped his head and looked at me so strangely I almost forgot my reason for pushing him away.

I knew that look, I realized. That strange look in his eyes. I'd seen it before.

Chuck looked at me that way, when I broke up with him. He was confused and hurt and above all, determined to be angry at me. He couldn't fathom why I was breaking up with him. But deep down inside I knew the reason. He deserved more than some messed up kid who'd been raped, drugged up and jailed before her eighteenth birthday.

Eventually he understood that we could only be friends. And Reid would have to understand too.

"I don't know what you think you're getting with me," I looked him in the eye, watching his blue ones rake my face. "But I'm not like the other girls here and I wish you'd stop wasting your time."

Reid stepped back, creating a world of space between us. His hands found his pockets and dug into them deeply. I merely crossed my arms and tried not to break my stance.

"I know you're not like the other girls, Dean," Reid's voice deepened. "The other girls don't run away from me."

"I don't run away from anyone," I replied curtly.

"Most girls like the attention, but you don't," he ignored my comment. "You don't like it because it makes you feel powerless."

"Powerless?" I laughed. "To you?"

"No," Reid shook his head. "To you."

I couldn't help but scowl, not liking the direction of this conversation.

"You like the way you feel when I touch you, kiss you even," Reid took a step closer to me. "You have no control over yourself. It scares you."

"Reid."

He stepped close enough to take my clenched fists in his own.

"I'm not gonna hurt you."

I had the impulse to rip my hands away. His fingers worked their way into mine and spread them open. Not clenched. Not tense.

Open.

To him.

"You couldn't hurt me." My voice was deadpanned, even to me. The truth of those words cut me more deeply than anything. I was unbreakable, but not because of my inner strength or sense of self-ownership.

I was simply already broken.

Brianna shifted in her bed and yawned loudly. I pulled my hands from his and crossed my arms.

"We'll practice tomorrow," I spoke curtly. There was no way in Hades I would look him in the eye.

He crossed my path without another word. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I heard the door shut behind him.

Brianna shuffled in her bedsheets and lifted her head lazily.

"Who was here?"

"No one."

"Hmph," she grunted. "I missed the whole Karev and Isabel hook-up, can't believe I fell asleep..."

I turned away from her and succumbed to my bedcovers. Loneliness was creeping its way up my spine, but I refused to cry. Truth was, I couldn't really accept myself or the things I've done in life. I couldn't accept what happened to me all those years ago. It made me bitter, resentful and most of all angry. So angry that I hated the girl in the mirror. How could someone want an angry, bitter, resentful person like me?

Too bad, a voice in my head whispered. If you can't stand yourself now, the rest of your lonely existence sure is gonna suck.

A lonely existence.

Some how I knew it would end up that way.


	6. Confused

_"Cassandra..."_

_I felt the rise of bile in my throat and swallowed hard._

_No tears. You're not allowed to cry._

_"Cassandra, I just don't know what to do with you anymore," I heard the tremble in mom's voice._

_She wasn't as immune to tears._

_"I want to help you," she pleaded._

_"I don't need help, mom."_

_"You do, sweetie," I watched her hands cover her face. "You do."_

_I turned away from her quickly, not liking the view. I hated watching her cry._

_"I'll leave," I muttered flatly. "Send me wherever the judge recommends this time. I won't fight it."_

_She shook her head, making little sniffling noises. I hadn't seen her this upset since dad died._

_No, that's a lie. I'd seen her cry the day they sent me away. But it was different then... I think she believed it would do me good. Scare me straight, so to speak. But I was just a stupid kid, a repeat offender with nothing to lose except her life. Juvie would have to do me some good, true?_

_Not true, I realized._

_The year I spent at Junipero County was hard, even for me. But I got it together, eventually... no more of the crazy stuff that could have ended me. The funny thing of it all was what landed me in a cell - battery. Of all the half-assed things I'd done in my life..._

_Yeah, so I beat down on a few assholes. They deserved it, for grabbing me that way. For grabbing Deirdre's little sister Shana, too._

_But you know how third strike rules go. And I was no novice to the judiciary system. I've spent more nights in a holding cell then I have in my own bedroom. The worst part of it all was having to face mom..._

_Just a perk of being underage, you know._

_"I'm tired of having to send you away, Cassandra!"_

_I cowered, but not from fear. Getting yelled at by mom only shamed me._

_"Maybe I want to leave," I trembled even as I said it. "Maybe it's this place I can't stand."_

_Her eyes grew wide at my misplaced lie._

_"If that's what you want-!" She couldn't be angry. She was too hurt._

_"Yes," I exhaled sharply. "It hurts to be here, mom."_

_It hurts me to hurt you, is what I should have said._

_Her eyes were red from crying; it wasn't as bad for her before, when I'd been sent away. Then again, she probably thought she'd get a real daughter after Junipero. Instead, all she got was a drone who couldn't even graduate._

_I'd gone from one spectrum to another._

_I went from hanging with the wrong crowd to hanging with none. Instead of cutting classes, I'd attend but fail out. Mom used to find condom wrappers in my pockets, and that terrified her. Now she probably wonders if I'll ever go on a normal date or even get married._

_This must be worse for her, I realized. I was bad before, but I'm hardly alive now._

_"I'm going to call an old friend," she spoke curtly. "If you fail out of this school, Cassandra, I am done."_

_I nodded, pretending to look appreciative. I really could have laughed._

_What private school was going to take me in? It was public or nothing, and I suspected mom would rather me drop out then attend a San Jose public high school. She was terrified of that outcome._

_"Don't worry about hurting anymore," her voice sounded bitterly pained. "You'll be far away from home."_

-------------------------

"Miss Dean!"

My head jerked up and I sucked in much-needed air. I rubbed my eyes until I could see a very fuming Mrs. Powell at the podium below.

God, I was such a shit. Powell did not take well to slackers in her class, let alone sleepers.

"Miss Dean, how many hours a week do you spend comatose in my class?"

A few kids giggled at my embarrassment but I ignored them. I wasn't exactly in a...responsive mood. Last night was one hell of a mindfuck... throw in some messed up dreams, a little reliving the past and what do you get?

"You tell me," I sighed. "I'm asleep through most of them, remember?"

A bitch, that's what you get.

Lily elbowed me but the rest of the class snickered. This would only piss Powell off and I groaned, knowing the outcome.

"Well," Powell aimed to embarrass me. "I've never had a student so fond of detention before. See me after class, Cassandra."

"Can't wait," I replied unenthusiastically.

Powell turned her back to us, facing the blackboard and Lily instantly turned her wide eyes at me.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"I'm not in the mood, Lily," I yawned. "It's been a bad night."

She cleared her throat and tried to hide the smirk forming.

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Anything to do with Reid Garwin?"

My head snapped at his name.

"Why would you think that?" I felt heat creeping up my cheeks.

"Other than the fact that I saw him leaving your room last night?" Her brow lifted, amused.

"We were studying our lines for this stupid play," I replied curtly. "That's all."

"Hmph," Lily huffed. "That's odd."

"What's odd?" I asked too quickly, and she giggled into her fist.

"I could've sworn I heard a very cranky-sounding certain Blonde Wonder stalking the halls," her voice hitched and I saw the tug of her smile.

"Wait, what?" I tugged at her arm. "What did you hear?"

"Oh, you know," she waived. "Crazy bitch, stupid skank, yadda yadda yadda..."

"What!" I whisper-yelled.

"Just kidding!" I scowled at her, not at all amused. "He ran into Tyler, and the kid obviously knew something was up because he kept asking Reid what was wrong."

"Did he say anything else?" _Anything about me?_

Odd that I wished he did.

"Nope," Lily shrugged. "Just that he was tired and was expecting a certain lady-friend later that night..."

I sunk in my chair, hating the feeling in my chest. Whatever it was, it was not jealousy. I expected this sort of thing from Reid and perhaps that was sadder than anything else.

"He wasn't..." Lily paused. "He wasn't talking about you, right?"

"No," I sighed.

Lily's eyes narrowed.

"I mean, ugh no!" I gagged. "Absolutely not! Why would you even think that...?"

She crossed her arms, looking rather unimpressed. The moment her head turned I sighed and sunk in my seat, drained from the theatrics (ironic, considering I would no doubt flunk Drama).

After class, Powell gave me the little pink slip of death and sent me on my way.

"Learn to try, Cassandra!" Powell hollered as I slipped out of her classroom.

I rolled my eyes just as someone put their arm around my shoulder.

"Reid," I grumbled, knowing it was him just by his scent alone.

"Learn to try," he emphasized the last word, "_Cassandra_."

I looked up at him, humored.

"Are you actually using my first name?"

"Don't get used to it," he replied.

"Wouldn't dare," I chirped, determined to not let things get awkward.

"Hey, so about last night..."

So much for not letting things get awkward.

"Reid," I sighed.

"Sometimes I act before I think," he shrugged. "Actually, I never think."

An apology and an insult in one breath. Way to go, team.

"Don't even mention it," I waived him off.

I felt awkward walking back to my room with his arm still around my shoulder. Luckily he didn't keep it there much longer; Provost Higgins was stalking the halls and he wasn't fond of public affection.

As. If.

"So," he began. "I'll stop by around seven-ish, then?"

I wasn't convinced. His seven o' clock was actually seven thirty.

And I reveled in the idea of a little friendly competition.

"No funny business, I promise," he looked at me devilishly.

"Actually," I dragged. "I can't tonight."

He frowned.

"Why not?"

I paused to lean on my door frame, feeling rather smug.

"I'm expecting a special friend," I smiled sweetly. And, OK, a little bit brattily as well.

But the look on Reid's face was so very worth it.

"Huh?" The fact that he was blonder than Hitler's wet dream only made him look more confused.

I simply shrugged and dug around my bag for the room key.

"Friend?" He scoffed. "What friend?"

I paused to grill him. That wasn't the reaction I expected.

"You make it sound like I have none!"

"Oh right," Reid replied sarcastically. "I forgot, you're the friendliest girl I know."

"I am friendly!" _What a prick!_ "It's not my fault you're an asshole and don't get my good side often!"

"Reid?" I turned to find Tyler turning the corner of the doors, adjusting his tie. "What's going on?"

I felt flushed as Tyler approached us.

"Dean has a hot date tonight," Reid mocked.

"Go to hell," I scowled. "Hi, Tyler."

"Hey," he nodded, looking rather cautious.

"Where you comin' from, Baby Boy?" Reid shuffled Tyler's hair.

"I slept in," he shrugged. "Missed first period."

I tried to forget the fact that this was the girls' floor dormitory.

"Who was it for you?" Reid chuckled.

"None of your business," Tyler turned a deep shade of mauve.

"Touch-y!" Reid feigned looking shocked. "My money says Tara Perry comes walking down that hall."

"It's not like that with her," Tyler fixed his collar, frowning.

"Yeah, whatever," Reid grinned.

"At least I'm not hooking up with Kira Snider," Tyler grimaced.

I scoffed at Reid.

"Isn't she with Aaron?" It confused me for only a second until it made sense. Those two deserved each other.

"Ever heard of the village bicycle?" Reid smirked. I could feel the horrified look on my face.

"Dude, I love you like a brother," Tyler put his hand on Reid's shoulder. "But you're an asshole."

"Thank you!" Finally, someone with some sense!

The puss on Reid's face had us cracking up.

"I'll be here at seven, Dean," Reid winked, being his usual conceited self.

"Then have fun standing outside my room all night," I laughed.

"Oh, you'll be here to let me in," he spoke confidently.

"I'll leave a sleeping bag for you," I teased. "And some bug spray."

"That won't keep _Kira_ away," Tyler joked, and we both laughed.

"Maybe she'll feel bad and take you in," I raised a brow at him.

"Been there, done that," he looked at me with male smugness. I could've hit him.

"OK! Well, I have to go," I slid through my door. "See ya."

"Dean," Reid put his hand out to stop my door from closing. "Tomorrow."

"I promise," I told him, surprising myself. It couldn't be helped; the intensity of his eyes made me feel funny things.

It wasn't until he walked away that I panicked.

Who the hell was taking me out tonight?

---------------------

"I canceled a Student Council meeting for this, so make it good."

I looked up at Ry standing in my doorway, out of uniform but still managing to look ever the cool prepster.

"Come in," I smiled my best nice-girl smile, hoping to win him over with kindness.

"Don't sass me," Ry snorted as he made his way over to a chair. "What's going on?"

"We're going out tonight!" I tried to sound excited. "Me and you, maybe Brianna and Lily and Cole..."

Ry raised an eyebrow.

"How can you call us your friends if you never spend time with us?" I feigned sounding shocked.

"It's a Wednesday night, Cassandra."

I frowned.

"You'll come, then?"

Ry shrugged, looking quite annoyed with my stint.

"I know it's last minue, but I've just been feeling like there's tension between Brianna and me..."

I watched his face, hoping he wouldn't see through the lie (which wasn't really a lie, anyway).

"Really?" Ry looked confused. "Since when?"

"Since..." I hesitated telling him the truth. "Since I think Brianna's had a crush on you and maybe gets annoyed with us spending time hanging out..."

Ry's face looked even more confused this time.

"That's absurd," Ry laughed. "Bree and I have always been close. She knows the deal."

"Oh, come _on_," I sighed, exhasperated. "Are you that blind? The girl's had a crush on you since the night we met. I could tell even back then!"

Ry adjusted the collar of his polo, probably feeling uncomfortable under the weight of my stare.

Please,_ please_ don't make Brianna hate us both, I wanted to yell at him.

"Even if," Ry's brows lifted, unconvinced. "It's still not like that. I've known Brianna since elementary school. So don't mind me for thinking it a little weird."

"Well it's not weird for her," I snorted. "Clearly."

I watched him run his hands through his messy dark hair.

"I can't pretend to have feelings for her, Cassandra," Ry shook his head. "That'd be wrong."

I made it my duty to walk over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Now was the time to be guiding, if ever.

"What's there to pretend?" I mentored him. "She's a great girl, and she likes you."

"Maybe I like someone else," Ry hid his face, clearly embarrassed. "Did you even stop to think about that?"

I drew back instantly, confused as hell.

"Seriously? Who?" I couldn't even hide the little bit of jealousy seeping from my words.

"Don't worry about it," Ry stood up. His face was as red as a tomato.

"Wait," I pulled on his arm as he made his way to my door. "It's not Kate Tunney, is it?"

He stopped dead in his tracks, hesitating before turning back to face me.

"Kate?" His eyes searched my face, seeming confused. Yeah, seeming. "Why would you say that?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, feeling a little embarrased.

"Did someone say something to you?" Ry didn't drop the subject as quickly as I thought he would.

"No."

"No?"

I hesitated before meeting his eyes, worried about what I'd find there. If I saw something strange, I'd know I was right about the whole Ry and Kate thing. Which was wrong on so many levels; Kate and Pogue were together, and for a while -- or so I'd heard.

And it shouldn't have mattered to me either way...

Shouldn't have. But it did, of course.

As we made eye contact, I'd only seen confusion etched in his face.

No, there was something else, too. Hesitancy. He wanted to say something but decided to hold back, apparently.

"Just tell me," I groaned. "I'm tired of everyone's mind games around here. Be honest."

"I was going to," he started, and I saw the hint of a smirk forming at his mouth.

I sighed deeply, preparing myself for yet another drama-filled day.


End file.
